Bagley says his officials ready to go this season

FIHL Chief of Officiating Josh "Bags" Bagley at a recent workout

Blacks Harbour, NB - He may be a slight bit heavier but Josh Bagley feels his troops are ready for the challenge of keeping the peace this season. Bagley, one of the most respected and revered officials in the area, has been on a see food diet all summer preparing for the upcoming campaign. Bagley, when asked about his gut, said, "It's not how big it is, it's how you make it big."

Ratz Rookies Make Good First Impression

Russell Buchanan (R) relaxes with VP of Scouting Greg Justason (L)

Newcomer Justin MacDougall

Bonny River, NB - All was positive this morning at Bonny River Ratz headquarters. The Ratz were just coming off an impressive showing against the Fundy Kingfishers and were showcasing their new talent. Russell Buchanan and Justin MacDougall just signed contracts last week and already were joined with Ratz legend Jim Buchanan on the third line.

Captain Joe Stevens noted, "I know Jim would be a good mentor for the boys and show them the ropes. I didn't want to put the pressure on them to play with guys like me and Taylor right away. That will come, but for now - it's all baby steps boys."

Stevens: "Taylor is over-achieving AGAIN!"

Mark Taylor holds his Hat Trick pucks

Blacks Harbour, NB - It may have been pre-season but the air carried a tinge of playoff atmosphere as the Bonny River Ratz took on rivals Fundy Kingfishers. Kingfishers GM Matty Walsh came out with "the best possible team" Sunday night. Walsh said, "The next time I'm doing this, I'm not telling anybody who we are playing. As soon as I said it was the Ratz, the excuses came out like you wouldn't believe. One guy told me his dog was pregnant. I had to bite my lip to ask if he was the father. This is some frustrating. I now the Ratz are good, but we are the league champs and need to behave like it."

Meanwhile, Ratz legend Mark Taylor piled up the goals against a very lacklustre Kingfishers squad. Team captain Joe Stevens noted, "Taylor had a big night, 3 goals and 5 assists, but that's just another day at the office for him. Just to put this in perspective, the last time anybody had an 8 point game was when Mario Lemieux did it April 25, 1989. Before the game, he filled up the water bottles. A guy with 877 (now 880) filling up water bottles? Marinate on that one, boys. Filling water bottles and filling the the net. Looks like he's headed for one of them years and that can't be good for the goalies of this league."

Photo surfaces that Thompson is trying to downplay

Thompson talks to police about Hockey Voice coverage

Kingfishers star Cush Thompson

Blacks Harbour, NB - Cush Thompson's lawyers couldn't prevent a picture of him from appearing in the Hockey Voice. The photo, which came from an anonymous source, shows Thompson in his normal formal attire with his guitar. Thompson fought the release of said photo, stating "it was just another bullshit report by bullshit people."

Meanwhile, Kingfishers GM Matty Walsh said he was not looking at any kind of disclipinary action for Thompson but would like him to "not dress like that around the boys."

Justin Sweeney shows why he's the funniest guy on campus

Stevens helps out the youth in the community

His Royal "Awesomeness" Joseph D. Stevens

Bonny River, NB - The Bonny River Ratz have long been a symbol for what it takes to be awesome but now captain Joe Stevens wants to share it with the kids in the community. "I realize that in life you will encounter many cool people and I've met a few myself. However, the members of this team have taken that another step and that's to be awesome. Sometimes we take guys who are cool and mould them into awesome and really, it's quite a step and the kids should not try this at home. I am working with the kids on a process so that they too will grow up to be awesome. It is regrettable that guys like Matty and Joe Walsh and Shane Smith didn't stick around long enough to be awesome. We really felt they had possibilities. I guess they'll have to settle for being cool or semi-cool."

Things start to leak in Kingfishers ship

Kingfishers GM Matty Walsh

Taken directly from Kingfishers' team manual:

Matty Walsh: Teams of note he has played for - Sr. Silverkings, Kingfishers and Bonny River Ratz.

• Credits Mark Taylor for all his hockey sucesses and notes, "I watched quietly and copied my game after the master. The way he moves around, waits patiently and pounces on the puck like a leopard is what I try to do."
• Coined the phrase, "Hey ref, good game, stop by the room for a beer, eh?"
• Once scored a hattrick against the Ratz without touching the puck.
• Hobbies include dink photography.

Hockey Voice obtains secret files from Kingfishers

Walsh hopes to get injunction to stop release of secret information

Matty Walsh when he played for the Ratz at 2008 Big Show

Bonny River, NB - The Hockey Voice is remaining tight-lipped about documents obtained late Thursday that contain many secrets that the Fundy Kingfishers are trying to keep from the public. According to an unpublished report, it outlines secret deals and player information that Matty Walsh is trying to keep a lid on. Walsh has contacted lawyers in hopes of getting an injunction to stifle the popular hockey publication.

The realease is set for today and will run next week as well if Walsh is not successful in his action. Stay tuned for ALL the details.

Warning! You don't want to be in this position

The Hockey Voice has adopted the stance that being Arica or Michael is not an enviable position to be in. Just reading this opens up way too many questions and no answers. When you find a tooth in your house and you're not the tooth fairy, then there is a huge problem. Is it a man's tooth or a woman's tooth? Is is a human tooth?

This problem is like the guy who asks his buddy when he started wearing women's panties and he says "When my wife found a pair in the glove box."

I think Michael may be able to joke this one off by saying, "Aw, you lost a tooth? Here's a couple bucks for ya."

It's hard to say not knowing.

Walsh asks Taylor for help

Walsh to send Harris in for a consultation

Blacks Harbour, NB - In light of recent troubles in Kingfishers land, team GM Matty Walsh asked Mark Taylor if he could find something in New York that might help their organization. Walsh has been at odds with future FIHL hall of famer Jamie Harris over parties and personnel issues.

Walsh noted, " I know Taylor doesn't owe me any favours, but I figured that if he were in New York, he may find out some little thing to help a fella out. He's found the perfect thing too. I am sending Harris on an an attitude adjustment consultation in hopes that he will come back a changed man. I have my balls crossed on this one."

Taylor meets the actual Statue of Liberty

Statue of Liberty welcomes Mark Taylor to New York

If there's trouble around, the Hockey Voice is there

Unnamed man calls Hockey Voice reporter "Captain America"
TGIF waitress reacts to profane tirade by unhappy patron
Patron converses with Torontonians about the preceived discrimination

New York, NY - It was a quiet stroll around the city on a Sunday afternoon by Hockey Voice reporter Mark Taylor. Having never been in to a TGIF Friday's the roving reporter stopped by to sample the goods.

Two students from Toronto were seated at the bar beside Taylor when a guy moves in and starts talking about discrimination he had just experienced. He noted his bladder was completely full and wanted some relief and went to the restaurant's bathroom to do so. The verbal assault was laden with profanity and even remarks about the reporter. He said, "You take Captain America here. He could walk in and have a piss and nobody would say a word. Me, I walk in and they ask me if I'm a customer or not. That's bullshit, man!"

Taylor explained that he wasn't from America and couldn't technically have that title. The upset man continued until the waitress told him to shut his mouth or get out and it appeared she didn't graduate with a good mark in how to be tactful either.

The incident ended peacefully as the man guzzled his beer and left but still had lots to say on his way out of the facility. He still felt that Taylor could piss anywhere at any time and not suffer any consequences. This was not put to the test.

Taylor in New York for high level secret meetings

Stevens: "I told Taylor that if anybody can help the club, talk to them"

Tall, lanky defenseman who sees all of the ice
Taylor talks to goalie who "covers the top part of the net well"

Bonny River, NB - Although many details are slowly filtering down, many players on the Ratz are feeling a little threatened by Mark Taylor's sudden trip to New York over the weekend. One in particular is Ratz star goalie Warren Giebrecht. The star noted, "I thought I had the job nailed down and now I hear Mark Taylor was caught on camera with my possible replacement. How do you expect me to react? I'm saddened by the news. They look like a bunch of nuts to me but what else would you expect to see?"

Carl Chambers was another who voiced his opinion of the trip. He said, "Taylor and Stevens are obviously both in on this whole thing. I saw the picture of the blue defenseman with the big buggy eyes. This is the type of people those two are most comfortable with. If this guy is in the room when we drop the puck, I'll be looking to play elsewhere. We have enough guys now that I can't understand half the time, we don't need more of them."

Meanwhile, Joe Stevens was quick and to the point. "I told Taylor that if he sees anybody who can help the club, go talk to them. If that means Giesbrecht and Chambers are out, so be it. You're either with us, or you're against us," noted a very frustrated Stevens.

Hoffman sends in picture from his youth

Chris Hoffman - Two Balls, One Strike

Stevens battling high water for upcoming moose season

Joe Stevens wading through water

Bonny River, NB - It's the eve of moose season and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a bald headed mouse. Joe Stevens said that as long as he's been moose hunting, the water has never been this high.

"I got out on my motorcycle last night and I think it must have gotten wet or something. This is crazy. Anyway, I'll be moose hunting come Hell or high water, bank on it," commented Stevens.

Everybody is on board for 2010-2011 "The Year of the Habs"

Kyle Leslie gives thumbs up for the Habs

Jason McFarlane gives the Horns for the Habs

Jim Buchanan one huge thumb up for Habs

A St. Stephen fan with obvious loyalties gives his thumb up

Bonny River, NB - In an informal poll done by the Hockey Voice, it was unanimously decided the Montreal Canadiens are the team to beat in 2010-2011. 100 % of people asked said that the Montreal Canadines have what it takes. It marks the first poll done by the Voice and it was astounding at the response.

Stay tuned for future polls.

Walsh takes down bear in tough match

Matty Walsh after tough match on Labour Day Weekend in Blacks Harbour

Blacks Harbour, NB - It was Labour Day Weekend in Blacks Harbour and people from all around came to the Fundy Arena to witness the spectacle of hometown hero Matty Walsh take on a black bear. The match was not as easy as Walsh had originally thought. His brother Joe brought the opponent into town in the back of his car just a day before the match went down.

Matty Walsh summed up the whole thing; "He had me wrapped up right around backwards and it looked like he was gonna break me in half. I really didn't expect it and didn't have any plan for something like this to happen. Joe said he was friendly and would probably just want to play. Anyway, I looked up and saw these balls dangling down, so I reached up and bit down on them as hard as I possibly could. Boys, you never believe the strength you get when you bite your own nuts!"

Walsh made one of the biggest comebacks in Blacks Harbout rassling history and when it was all over, the little guy had his hand held high in the air.

Harris and Walsh announce a split

Jamie Harris at Hockey Voice press conference

Blacks Harbour, NB - Citing what Jamie Harris refers to as "contract obligations not fulfilled," the big time goaltender has decided to pass on the Kingfishers this coming season. Harris noted that although the team won the much prized Fish Bowl this past year for the third time in 4 years, a victory celebration did not follow as was originally promised to him. Harris also mentioned his services are still be offered to any squad who needs a goalie except XXX. According to Harris, Ancients Mariners PR Manager Rob Bosien has offered a celebration after every road win and this is just way too much not to not accept. As it stands right now, Harris will be donning his pads this season but it will not be behind the ever growing and expanding defensive corps he has become accustomed to.

The war of words continued as Team GM Matty Walsh basically drew a line in the Lake Utopia sands and said, "Let us know 100 % or beat it." He feels that the lack of a party is being pinned on him personally and that is "unfair" according to the team executive. He reiterated that he has way too much on the go and does not have a location even if he had time to host a function. This last point is one that Harris vehemently challenges as according to his calculations, Walsh has more land and properties now than he ever has.

Warning: Make Sure you take Telemarketer's Calls Seriously

Mark Taylor is Still Rollin' on the River

It’s not like me to be mesmerized or overcome by a telemarketer’s call but last night I was. I was strumming away on my guitar and then the phone rang. It was a 10 digit number with no spaces in between the area code or anywhere so I had to pick it up. The young lady with an accent said she was looking for Mark Taylor. She asked me I knew Maynard or Millen Taylor and I immediately said “yes.” She said they referred her to me and she was representing or calling me on the behalf of Bell. She inquired if I had a computer and what systems I was running and all that junk. She told me she was offering me a deal on something. The problem was she could have told me she was paying me to buy her product and I wouldn’t have cared. My mind was still back at the first of the call.

I interrupted her and asked her if she was talking to Maynard and Millen Taylor directly and she said she wasn’t but people there had been and that’s where they got my name. This really amazed me because Maynard is my father’s name and he’s been dead for over 25 years and Millen just died this past summer and I delivered his eulogy. I was intrigued by the fact that somebody there had been talking to them and they hadn’t bothered to talk to me directly. Now I am familiar with tarot cards and lottery tickets, so I’m no stranger to the occult. I went on to tell her that somebody there has to be really good with a Ouija Board because they are both dead and that everything she was saying was nothing but a huge bunch of bullshit. I carried on for awhile but stopped when I realized I was the only one left on the line.

As with a lot of things in life, after you reflect back, you wish you would have said something else and this was no exception. I wish I would have asked to speak to the communicator or facilitator and find out what these guys are up to and how they think we’re all doing. Why did they tell them to call me? I know that from now on, I’m taking these calls more seriously and will conduct myself in a very orderly fashion so I don’t miss out things. I erased the number or I would have called them back.

Joe Walsh rolls in the Harbour with Rasslin' Bear

Joe Walsh and the Rasslin' Bear

Blacks Harbour, NB - The excitement continues to build around Blacks Harbour about hometown hero Matty Walsh taking on a bear at the Fundy Arena Friday night. His brother Joe Walsh from Toronto landed in Blacks last night with the bear in tow.

"He's a little sleepy right now, he couldn't stretch out much in the back seat but I just gave him a bucket of coffee and he's good to go. We're going to get him a bottle of Jack Daniels after supper tonight and a couple locals said they have a couple fatties for him to puff on before the match too. I do not want any rackets with him and my little brother. I want Matty to have a chance at least. The bear's name is Vance in case anybody wants to know." said the elder Walsh in an exclusive Hockey Voice interview.