You Might Be From Charlotte County if......

You might be from Charlotte County if.........

• you have a stick of tips in your wedding picture.
• You wear jogging pants and you have never gone and have no intention of going jogging.
  You have barbecued baloney.
  Your marriage proposal includes “You’re gonna have a what?”
  You have picked up some beer on the way to work.
  You have pictures of yourself beside giant weed plants.
  Your wedding picture has a stick of tips in the background.
  Your first words when you come out of a coma are, “Did I miss hunting season?”
  You have ever used your kids swing set to pull the engine out of your vehicle.
  The centerpiece on your lawn used to get 30 miles to the gallon.
  You can’t find your lawnmower.
  You have ever said “The war is on!” after you find out somebody is using your treestand.
  You have ever complained about how dirty your white socks get when you wear sandals.
  You have ever said, “Want a hit off that thing, Mom?”
  You buy beer to expand your summer wardrobe with hats and shirts.
  You refuse to slide in softball because you don’t want to crush your smokes.
  You have a road sign under your wood stove.
  You’ve watched the Stanley Cup playoffs in your underwear.
  Your discarded freezer now holds your garbage.
  You’ve worn a beer T shirt to a parent-teacher interview.
  You know all the cast on the Trailer Park Boys, but don’t know your local MP or MLA.
  You have ever checked your oil at a funeral.
  You’ve thrown a party just to get the empties.
  You have to get work done to your “rigging” and everybody knows you’re not going to a mechanic.
  You cried the day your son/daughter first got served at the liquor store.
  You’re paying higher payments on your 4 wheeler than your engagement ring.
  You’re saving your beer bottles to buy a 4 wheeler.
  You’ve ever been in a “racket” over booking vacation time for moose or deer season.
  You check the Court News to see if any of your hockey, softball, darts, or crib teammates is going for a “trip.”
  You have put an ad in the paper telling people to return shit that you have had stolen from you.
  You use an abandoned or broken down in your yard car as lawn furniture.