Hoffman lands new job

Chris Hoffman - the new Saint John City Police Cat Trainer

Saint John, NB - Everything with police work has become so specialized that now the good guys are seeking the help of yet another weapon to catch bad guys. Dogs have long been helpers for police in many criminal investigations, but Chris Hoffman has developed a new weapon, cats.

It was announced Monday that Hoffman is the Top Cat Trainer or the Pussy Patrol as he likes to call it. "I never really had any training for the canine unit so I wanted to move up the ladder a bit and I pitched my idea and so far, it has been received really well. I broke up a tuna theft ring in the city last night and hope to crack down on mice and as bad as I hate to say it - Ratz," said a very cheerful Hoffman.

Need a grandfather? Why not just rent one?

Grandfather for rent in Fredericton

Got a dog? Get Poopy Picker!

Wanna look and feel Canadian? Try McFarlane's new product

Jason McFarlane's new revolutionary product

Report: Walsh on Wrestling card at Fundy Arena

Walsh's Wrestling Uniform
Walsh's opponent

Walsh's motto for the match

Blacks Harbour, NB - As the day edges closer when XWA arrives in Blacks Harbour, some details are filtering down to the Hockey Voice. A rumour out of BLcks Harbour has Matty Walsh rassling a bear at the event to be held at the Fundy Arena on Friday Sept. 3.

When reached for comment, Walsh offered, "I ain't saying it's 100 % yet, but if I can get a jug of Taylor's Bonny River Fighting Wine and the bear pounds back a bottle of Jack Daniels before the match, I'm in."

Stevens too, will have new look this season

Ratz Captain Joe Stevens shows off new tattoo

Richardson and Ganong peddle TV Show memorabilia

Sales Pitch: "As seen on Road Hockey Rumble"

Chris Richardson and the "coolest outfit in the world at the time"
Nick Ganong wears outfit he wore to premiere

St. Stephen, NB - TV stars Chris Richardson and Nick Ganong who starred in an episode of Road Hockey Rumble are now selling off some of the memorabilia from the hit show. They both emphasize that it may not have been worn on the show, it was at least worn during the day of the show.

"The sneakers are definitely from the show and I'm a big fan of Jack Daniels too," says Ganong.

Bids can be made by contacting the stars directly and all money goes to Treestands for Humanity.

Ratz prepare for new season with a new look

Ratz star forward Mark Taylor in recent photo

Star forward Jason McFarlane (R) with new hairdo and unnamed lady

Bonny River, NB - The Bonny River Ratz are ready to go but when they take the ice in October, some may look a bit different. Mark Taylor is denying rumours he had any work done during the off-season after a photo surfaced of him looking rather "youthful." On the other hand, Jason McFarlane seems to have gone the other way with his looks. McFarlane noted, "I find this some stressful playing for the Ratz. My hair turned snow white almost over night. I thought - screw it, let it go, man."

Elder Walsh warns Harris, "Hands off my little brother!"

Joe Walsh in recent strongman competition

Toronto, Ontario, Canada - The news of Jamie Harris hooking onto Matty Walsh travelled far and quickly. Matty's brother Joe, was made aware of the incident and it appeared his arms would explode.

The elder Walsh noted, "If that f***ing Harris even touches my little bother again, I will tear him a new asshole. I'm not the same meek and mild Joe they remember, I'm new and improved Joe and I ain't taking crap from nobody anymore!"

Kingfishers go out on "bonding session"

Harris babysits WalshBlacks Harbour, NB - Kingfishers' star goalie Jamie Harris says noting happened between him and Matty Walsh while on their recent boating trip. Harris noted, "Maybe Matty had a couple pops too many and I had to steady him a bit, but we're cool."

Joe Walsh finds big city life "troublesome"

Walsh: "I had to do something"

A sign Joe Walsh put up outside his Toronto apartment

Moffitt introduces a car that really kicks ass

Moffitt: "It may not be a Dodge, but this car kicks ass

The Jean Claude Grand Am

Andrew Moffitt gives the Jean Claude Grand Am the thumbs up

St. Stephen, NB - Although it is not the typical make that Andrew Moffitt sells, he had to admit that the car certainly "kicks ass." Moffitt, who sells cars at the family lot for Moffitt Dodge in St. Stephen, says, "We don't have any on the lot right now, but if somebody wanted one, we could certainly arrange to have it here."

All new "You might be from Charlotte County if.............." from Mark Taylor

You might be from Charlotte County if............................

The entertainment at your wedding was a boom box.
You broke a toe when your belt buckle hit it.
You’ve muted your TV before farting.
You’ve had to move a baby seat to make love.
You bought dinner at a pet shop.
Your cheques feature pictures of dogs fighting.
Your pen pal is a guy you “did weekends with.”
You’re banned from all your son’s sporting events.
Making your bed disturbs at least three animals.
The dentist tells you both your teeth have cavities.
You’ve missed more than a week’s work with heartburn.
You whistle at women at a funeral.
You’ve switched over to beer to sober up a bit.
You’ve put a sign “No more toking” inside your house.
You answered your cellphone at a wedding.
Going for a drive involves “catching ‘er in gear.”
You have no idea how many pets you have.
Your snowshoes are actually tennis rackets.
You’ve ever sang at a pet’s funeral.
If “playing caps” is mentioned in your obituary.
If you’ve ever put .22 shells in a woodstove to liven things up at a camp.

McFarlane speaks out

He loves Guns and Coffee, but adds "I love Guns N Roses too man"

Ratz Star Jason "J-Roc" McFarlane enjoys a quiet moment

Catch your favourite Hockey Voice Stars in Major Magazines

Geoff Cunningham makes a splash in last week's Time
Mark Taylor in this week's Time

Matty Walsh in the August Player edition

Stevens: "We're putting another offer on the table for Taylor"

Joe Stevens at Mark Taylor contract negotiations

Bonny River, NB - Bonny River Ratz captain Joe Stevens says was "disappointed" about the way the team's offer was shut down recently. Stevens noted, "The Kovalchuk contract the Devils offered was similar as ours but since the FIHL is very close to the level of the NHL, everybody kinda freaked out. We had hoped to have Taylor locked up until the end of the 2028 season but we will now have to set our sights lower. I've heard Matty Walsh is just waiting to pounce and try to sign Taylor but it is my belief that he will sign with us, even though the term might not be what we wanted. For the record, I doubt an old guy like Walsh will even be around playing in the FIHL come 2028."

Sources: Harris will be ready for 2010-2011 season

Kingfishers Star Goalie Jamie Harris poses for the Hockey Voice

Ganong finds Magic Genie

Nick Ganong with one of his 3 wishes he was granted

St. Stephen, NB - It was a dark night when Nick Ganong found a little bottle which for some reason, he picked up and began to rub. The rest, according to Ganong is history. "I can't stress enough that you have to be careful when you make wishes with these things. I was on my way to Blacks that night to play hockey. I said that I wished I could stop Taylor that night and I did. It never really hit me that the Genie thing was working until I looked at what was on the top of my head. I really don't want to get into that one or the third one either," noted Ganong.

Walsh digging to the bottom of things

Matty Walsh on the hunt for the FIHL Fish Bowl

Lake Utopia, NB - Matty Walsh says he hasn't seen the FIHL Fish Bowl since his Kingfishers won it last spring and he's starting a search immediately. "We have some leads on it, but in order for me to put my mind at ease, I'm pulling out all the stops. We think Josh Bagley may have been the last guy on the team to see it, but we cannot be sure of that at this time. A lot of people are counting on and I will not let them down," noted a very nervous and dejected Walsh late Monday.