Ratz Ready to Take on "Whoever"

Andrew Moffitt (L) and Jack MacNeil field reporter's questions

Bonny River, NB - Ever since the last meeting between the Bonny River Ratz and the Fundy Kingfishers, the Fur Backz have been waiting for Tuesday night. The Ratz fought back in that contest from a 4-2 deficit to tie it 4-4 after two periods. Then, the collapse came and the Kingfishers cruised to an easy 12-5 win. Winners of their two decisions (both against archrivals Blacks Harour Timberwolves) since this forgettable game, the Ratz appear poised to make a Cup run and it has many local experts talking and taking notice.

"That was then; this is now," noted Ratz Captain Joe Stevens in an exclusive Hockey Voice interview. "I've watched this team progress and I admit it appears to have been baby steps, but we are ready now." Here's a few points Stevens made during the interview about the squad prior to playing the playoffs;

• Eric and Shane Lee are the toughest Lee Brothers to come along since Bruce Lee and his brother went to Tokyo High.
• Warren Giesbrecht has the best mittens I've seen since my grandmother last knitted me a pair.
• Mark Taylor, what do I need to say? This guy has brought his A game all year and I'd say the goalies are shitting in their boots right now.
• I'd like to thank the Piskahegan Porcupines for putting JD Cote on waivers. He has made an immediate impact on the squad.
• Andrew Moffitt is the fastest Rat I've seen on ice since the Titanic hit the iceberg.
• Jim Buchanan - look for his description right between intelligent and intestines. It's called intensity in case people don't know how to use a dictionary.
• Greg Justason gets away faster than a set of hubcaps at a P. Diddy concert.
• Carl Chambers has delivered more bombs than an all you can you eat bean dinner.
• Jack MacNeil pinches more than Michael Jackson's doctor. The only difference is Jack gets away with it.
• Rick McFarlane's moves faster than a Newfie's feet when you put on a Great Big Sea tune.
• Jason McFarlane pukes more than a pregnant woman competing in a rodeo.
• Corey Spear is tougher and harder than Pee Wee Herman's cock at a porn convention.
• When we say before the game that we have to keep at least one guy high all night, Kyle Leslie is the only one that listens.
• Russell Buchanan appears to have the rookie of the year award wrapped up. The puck sticks to his stick like shit to a blanket.