Stevens: "Ratz take elimination from playoff hard"

Mark Taylor hears news of Ratz elimination while in New York

Eric Lee fights back tears

Carl Chambers copes the best way he can

Rick McFarlane swallows bitter pill

Jim Buchanan "Can't beat 'em, join 'em"

Rookie JD Cote sports sunglasses to hide disappointment

Fubar Story the Hockey Voice's Most Viewed Story of All Time

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Hockey Voice Names FUBAR as one of the Best Movies of All Time

Matty Walsh: "FUBAR - A Must See for Sure!"

Bonny River, NB - It seems that the FIHL likes to see the underdog do well and the love for the movie FUBAR sends home that point. FUBAR big fan Matty Walsh says, "Terry and the Deaner are my kind of guys. They exemplify what the FIHL is all about. I mean, hanging out with friends and having a good time is what's it's all about. "

"My stomping boots are Fuckin' going on tonight!" is my favourite quote from the show.

Former Ratz star Joe Walsh of Toronto, Ontario, Canada who is the new entertainment critic for the Hockey Voice, says, "Dean Murdoch is my idol. What truer words can be said than "Turn up the good and turn down the suck! This is a classic that should be seen by everybody who has ever shotgunned a beer, played hockey in the house, threw lawnchairs in a fire, or stuck by a friend through thick and thin."

Ratz playoff picture clears up

Milltown Moose take on Bonny River Ratz in 1st Round

Just in time for Valentine's Day

This Sunday night at 7:40 p.m. at the Fundy Arena, the 4th place Milltown Moose will roll in for Game 1 of the 2011 FIHL playoffs versus the 5th place Bonny River Ratz. The Ratz had some goaltender availability issues and the teams agreed to play game 1 in the Harbour and move Game 2 to St. Andrews on Thursday, Feb. 24 at 8:30. Game 3 if necessary will be played in St. Andrews as well.

The Ratz beat the Moose way back on the first game of the season October 24 by a score of 6-2. Since then, the Moose have taken the other three games by scores of 8-1, 8-0 and 6-3.

Meanwhile, the Ratz announced a one game tryout for Eric Levesque who will appear in net for the Fur Backs Tuesday night versus the Blacks Harbour Timberwolves. Levesque remarked it was probably the best Valentine's day present he could have asked for.

"I kept looking out the window to see if there were cameras around as I really thought I was being Punk'd. I was so excited that when Taylor asked me if wanted to play for the BIG CLUB, I couldn't even think of what he was talking about. I'm pumped about this one. If I never play another game, my career will be complete," noted Levesque in a telephone interview.

Unlucky Bounces Kill Ratz

Walsh : "We were lucky to get the two points"

Jason McFarlane shows how he paid the price for his teammates

Blacks Harbour, NB - Normally, when a team gets beat 11-2, one would think it was a blow out, but not so according Fundy Kingfishers GM Matty Walsh. The Kingfishers beat the Bonny River Ratz by that score Tuesday night as it was the night of underdogs upsetting the favourites. The Charlotte County Bears beat the visiting and heavily favoured Milltown Moose 2-1 in the first game to set the tone for the evening.

"We finally got Taylor shut down and that was key in the victory. He scored twice last game and that guy can do some damage if you let him get loose. It was really just a bounce or two away from being 11-2 the other way, we were lucky to get the two points," noted Walsh.

Joe Stevens, the Ratz veteran captain agreed with Walsh's assessment. "The Ratz came out flat and it appears that rodents hibernate and were a little sleepy for the game. Some rodents actually never woke up. We were hurting from the long lay off and really felt sluggish. The barometric pressure also plays a big part in any team's performance. I really appreciate Jason McFarlane's effort tonight though as he apparently was sticking up for me which has me puzzled. Then again, I've been labelled a chowderhead so go figure," said a very upbeat Stevens.

Ratz Ready to Take on "Whoever"

Andrew Moffitt (L) and Jack MacNeil field reporter's questions

Bonny River, NB - Ever since the last meeting between the Bonny River Ratz and the Fundy Kingfishers, the Fur Backz have been waiting for Tuesday night. The Ratz fought back in that contest from a 4-2 deficit to tie it 4-4 after two periods. Then, the collapse came and the Kingfishers cruised to an easy 12-5 win. Winners of their two decisions (both against archrivals Blacks Harour Timberwolves) since this forgettable game, the Ratz appear poised to make a Cup run and it has many local experts talking and taking notice.

"That was then; this is now," noted Ratz Captain Joe Stevens in an exclusive Hockey Voice interview. "I've watched this team progress and I admit it appears to have been baby steps, but we are ready now." Here's a few points Stevens made during the interview about the squad prior to playing the playoffs;

• Eric and Shane Lee are the toughest Lee Brothers to come along since Bruce Lee and his brother went to Tokyo High.
• Warren Giesbrecht has the best mittens I've seen since my grandmother last knitted me a pair.
• Mark Taylor, what do I need to say? This guy has brought his A game all year and I'd say the goalies are shitting in their boots right now.
• I'd like to thank the Piskahegan Porcupines for putting JD Cote on waivers. He has made an immediate impact on the squad.
• Andrew Moffitt is the fastest Rat I've seen on ice since the Titanic hit the iceberg.
• Jim Buchanan - look for his description right between intelligent and intestines. It's called intensity in case people don't know how to use a dictionary.
• Greg Justason gets away faster than a set of hubcaps at a P. Diddy concert.
• Carl Chambers has delivered more bombs than an all you can you eat bean dinner.
• Jack MacNeil pinches more than Michael Jackson's doctor. The only difference is Jack gets away with it.
• Rick McFarlane's moves faster than a Newfie's feet when you put on a Great Big Sea tune.
• Jason McFarlane pukes more than a pregnant woman competing in a rodeo.
• Corey Spear is tougher and harder than Pee Wee Herman's cock at a porn convention.
• When we say before the game that we have to keep at least one guy high all night, Kyle Leslie is the only one that listens.
• Russell Buchanan appears to have the rookie of the year award wrapped up. The puck sticks to his stick like shit to a blanket.

Kingfishers and XXX go to Shootout

Greg Groom says, "The Hockey Voice is on the cutting edge of Hockey Coverage"

Marry Walsh notes, "Nobody is covering hockey like the Voice, the videos are the cat's rectum."

Poop Stains are Everywhere

1st Star Warren Giesbrecht - Slamming the Door
Jason McFarlane - 1 Goal, 1 Assist

Greg Justason - Game Winner in a Shootout

Expert: Ratz are peaking at the Right Time

It's getting down to the "nitty gritty" time in the FIHL season and it is very evident that teams are doing everything in their power to avoid the surging Bonny River Ratz. In fact, local hockey expert Matty Walsh noted that poop stains are likely based on what he's seen. "The way the playoff are structured, teams have become very aware of where they have to finish to avoid the Ratz. The Kingfishers are probably going to get a first round bye, so we are different. The way the Ratz are playing right now has made teams play harder, I can see that. If we were in the position of some of the teams, we'd be doing everything possible to get out of the way of them guys," noted Walsh in an exclusive Voice interview.

The Ratz got shootout goals from Greg Justason and Jason McFarlane and Warren Giesbrecht slammed the door as they beat the Blacks Harbour Timberwolves 3-2 Sunday night. Jason McFarlane and Kyle Leslie scored the regulation time goals for the Ratz and Murray Tucker and Geoff Johnson potted the goals for the Timberwolves. The Ratz scored what looked like a game winner as the clock ticked down but was waved off by the officials; citing a kicking motion as the reason.

It was the second Sunday in a row that the Rodents downed the Timberwolves by identical scores.

Things the fans want to read

The local area is a hotbed of really thought provoking and nice sayings that we at the Hockey Voice felt was worth reporting on so people throughout the globe can get in on this shit.

"Take a flying fuck off rolling donut!"
"Take a flying fuck off galloping goose!"
"I used to have a shirt like that, and then the old man got a job."
"Any men's clothes where you got that shirt?"
"Here, I'll give you a big cup of fuck right off!"
""If I wanted any shit from you, I'd squeeze your head."
"I'd like to kick that thing in the nuts and break its fingers."
"She's so fucking ugly the tide wouldn't take her out."

There's many more and we will strive to capture them and bring them to you in a timely manner. This is but a few, grasshopper.

The Hockey Voice Back in Business

Betty Lou Thelma Liz

It's been awhile but the staff of the Hockey Voice want the many fans to know, they are back and back in a big way. The Voice will still offer the many great pictures and general interest stories of the many characters of the area. It will be a no holds barred, shit show that all can enjoy, even if you are a fucking idiot. So hold on to your lug nuts, this might get bumpy.

Sweeney has ideal rig for the the "man on the go"

NBCC Whalers head coach Justin Sweeney

Kingfishers' members form new band

Turds of Misery - Andrew Clark, Jamie Harris and Matty Walsh

FIHL Wishes a Happy Holiday to All

Jim Buchanan

Carl Chambers

Jason McFarlane

Joe Stevens

Greg Justason

Jeff MacQuarrie

Hockey Voice Exclusive

Bonny River from the granite mountain

Towards Second Falls from the old granite mountain in Bonny River

The eastern side of the Linton Stream Bridge

Bonny River, NB - Roads are opening up again and things are returning to somewhat normal conditions for many but others are not quite as fortunate. The flood was more of an inconvenience for me. While I was home since Tuesday morning, I had calls and text message from people who asked how I was doing and what they could do. I talked to the boys from Cooke's who were doing admirable work picking up people and making sure everybody was looked after. Jack MacNeil from Bonny River Ratz fame and an employee of the Dept. of Natural Resources extended his invitation of help to me and anybody who needed it. Flakeboard has offered up building materials to anybody who needs it, no questions asked. I'm sure there's plenty of people and companies who have also done likewise but these are the ones that I know about personally.

I am always amazed at the human kindness shown when people really need it. I said it many times and I'll say it again - there's always somebody out there worse off than you and if they are in Bonny River, there's people with their hands out to help.

MacQuarrie sums up Bears loss with one word

Charlotte County Bears star veteran Jeff MacQuarrie

Blacks Harbour, NB - The sting of the 8-4 loss Tuesday night against the Bonny River Ratz has now subsided for the Charlotte County Bears. In fact, just after the game, Jeff MacQuarrie entered the Ratz dressing room to discuss the game and other matters and let it be known he was not troubled by it. Actually, FUHGEDABOUDIT, a popular New York term, was the message he wanted to deliver.

MacQuarrie added, "We were only down 3-1 after two periods and a bounce here and a bounce there and we'd be right back in it. In fact, we did get within 1 goal at 4-3, but the friggin' wheels fell off the cart again."

Moffitt's trick sinks Bears

Andrew Moffitt gives thumbs up on Ratz victory

Blacks Harbour, NB - Andrew Moffitt potted a hat trick while linemate Russell Buchanan added a pair, as did Greg Justason and Jack MacNeil rounded out the scoring with a single as the Bonny River Ratz downed the Charlotte County Bears 8-4 Tuesday night. T.J. Matser scored a pair for the Bears and Tim Dunfield and Daniel Leavitt netted singles.

The Ratz had a season high turnout with 15 skaters and captain Joe Stevens was forced to make some tough decisions. Stevens and Jim Buchanan were dropped back to defense and Stevens called the duo "the shutdown twosome."

Russell Buchanan's promotion to the BIG Line was well-received by the rookie who responded and broke out of his scoring drought. "When you know you're going out on a line with Taylor on it, the open ice available is amazing. I never realized it until last night. I watch Taylor play and it almost becomes another day at the office for him, but the guy opens up many doors that I didn't even know existed. I just hope that I can stay on the line," noted a jubilant Buchanan.

The Ratz roll into St. Andrews Thursday night at 8:30 to take on the Milltown Moose.

Stevens cautiously optimistic about tonight's game

Ratz captain Joe Stevens (L) on his way to team meeting with bodyguard

Bonny River, NB - The Ratz aren't ready to start making predictions on up coming games. "I've been burned too many times know what I'm saying? I ain't making no predictions, no matter what, know what I'm saying? Yeah, we're playing the Colts/Pirates/Bears tonight but we ain't taking nuthin' for granted. We gonna play our game. They've changed their name more times than my boy Diddy, know what I'm saying?" noted Ratz team captain Joe Stevens.

Thompson releases motivational poster

Cush Thompson administers a dose of reality

Kingfishers brass refuse to comment on allegations

Blacks Harbour, NB - A very dejected and tight-lipped Kingfishers brass walked by reporters Monday morning, refusing to comment on a picture that alleges that maybe one of their team members is in the Taliban.

When faced with the picture, team captain Greg Groom noted, "Why are you asking me? I don't even know who that is. Why must the Hockey Voice continue to pick on the Kingfishers? Who says that person plays for the Kingfishers? I'm so sick of this shit."

Another great Trews tune from Saint John show "Ishmael & Maggie"

Fubar 2 set to be released on DVD

If you've seen Fubar, then you have to get Fubar 2 that is set to be released on DVD December 28. The two metal heads Terry and Deaner get back together for what I can imagine will be a truly memorable movie experience. For some reason, this movie never made it to any of our local theaters which goes to show you what sort of people we have running them.

Get this important DVD December 28 and don't be disappointed.

Hoffman "disappointed" by teammates reaction after loss

Matty Walsh and Cush Thompson celebrate after loss to Ratz

Blacks Harbour, NB - Some of the celebrating after Tuesday night's stinging loss to the arch rival Ratz didn't sit well with some of the Fundy Kingfishers. An exclusive photo of Matty Walsh and Cush Thompson whooping it up in an undisclosed location has caused some issues within the Kingfishers camp. One in particular was Chris Hoffman who was very vocal about it.

"Sure, I'm disappointed with Walsh and Thompson. They should have been home going over plays and replaying mistakes and stuff, but instead they chose to party down. I mean, Taylor and Stevens put on a clinic out there tonight. Am I the only one who sees a problem here? If so, then dip my balls in a bowl of sweet cream and put me in a roomful of kitty cats," noted a very dejected Hoffman.

Hockey Voice covers Fundy Arena Meeting

Councillor Dave Mahar

Arena treasurer Fred Maker and Mike MacQuarrie crunch numbers

Arena President Mike MacQuarrie

Blacks Harbour, NB - Where was TSN when Mark Taylor was delivering the Bod on the Wad? Where was Sportsnet when Mark Taylor was scoring his 800th goal? Where was ESPN the Kingfishers captured 3 out of a possible 4 FIHL titles? Where was CBC when the Timberwolves said "enough is enough?"

The Hockey Voice covered all these historic events and with absolutely no bullshit. Monday night the Hockey Voice attended a meeting on the future of the Fundy Arena. The rink is being funded primarily by the village with some assistance from the Town of St. George and of course, from the various user groups like the FIHL, Brunswick Curling Club, Figure Skating Club and Fundy Minor Hockey. The meeting was called to bring in all the groups to address the shortfalls and to determine what the financial standing is of each group.

A follow up meeting will be held in December to assess what role the village should play based upon sheer numbers of their residents who actually use the facility versus "outsiders." It was discussed at the meeting and a conclusion was drawn that most of the users are from outside the village limits and yet, the the municipality is the one shouldering most of the costs. A plan will be formulated to perhaps even up the financial involvement of the village based up the numbers.

Blacks Harbour, NB -

Ratz double Kingfishers

Chris Hoffman of the Kingfishers

Blacks Harbour, NB - Joe Stevens potted a hat trick and Andrew Moffitt, Greg Justason, and Rick McFarlane all had a pair and Corey Spear added a single as the Bonny River Ratz hammered the Fundy Kingfishers 10-5 in FIHL action. Meanwhile, Chris Richardson netted a pair and teammates Eric Jean, Chris Hoffman and Aaron MacQuarrie added singles in a losing effort.

Warren Giesbrecht was steady in the Ratz net to gain the win and Matty Walsh suffered the loss in the Kingfishers cage. Walsh, although dejected, met with a scrum of reporters after the match. "That BIG line of Stevens, Taylor and Moffitt were on fire tonight. Here I was trying to shut down Taylor and the other two get 5. Taylor was dishing tonight and making some pretty cool plays. To said I'm afraid of the Ratz now might be a huge understatement. They definitely came to play tonight," noted Walsh.

Murray enjoys life after Ratz

Kevin Murray with Mike

Mascarene, NB - Kevin Murray says he misses going to the rink, but doesn't regret his retirement from the Bonny River Ratz. "I had a good run with the Ratz and sometimes I wish I was back there. I have my pet moose Mike now and we're getting along pretty good. It keeps me pretty busy keeping all the idiots from shooting at him," said Murray in an interview.

Kingfishers "worried" about tilt with Ratz

Matty Walsh holds Mark Taylor's 800th goal puck

Blacks Harbour, NB - Normally, a game early in the season against a team that has been struggling is not a big deal, but not to Kingfishers GM Matty Walsh. The 7-1-0 Kingfishers lock horns with the 2-4-1 Ratz and it has some people a bit "nervous."

Walsh noted, "Well, they have a guy (Mark Taylor) whose scored 883 goals, do you need more? He's been a little cold lately, but scores in bunches once he gets going. I've called everybody I can think of to play net Tuesday and it looks like it will fall on yours truly. I'm shakier than a long tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs."

Report: Spear incorrectly blamed for remarks

Joe Stevens meets with press Wednesday night
Corey Spear and pet parrot leaving St. Andrews Wednesday

Bonny River, NB - After a stinging loss Wednesday night to the NBCC Whalers by an 8-6 score, the Bonny River Ratz were looking for answers. An in-depth talk after the game revealed that ejected player Corey Spear did not utter a word but his pet parrot had plenty to say. Spear was thrown out of the game for supposed remarks made after an official's decision.

Team Captain Joe Stevens noted, "We just found out about what happened to Spear and it's unfortunate. We are looking to get the win somehow or at least replay the game. Clearly, Corey Spear doesn't say anything to referees and it had to be that stupid parrot saying stuff. We'll get the two points I think."

The Trews put on spectacular acoustic show at Imperial Theater

"I feel the rain" played live Thursday night in Saint John's Imperial Theater

Photo surfaces from Brutal Labour Day Bear Fight

Matty Walsh (Right) poses with opponent

Blacks Harbour, NB - It has been over 2 months since Matty Walsh rassled a bear at the Fundy Arena and the Hockey Voice just obtained a photo of the rugged creature and the bear.

Walsh noted that it was family picture, but he figured the Hockey Voice fans would appreciate it. "We were just sitting around having a beer together and somebody came in with a camera. The bear was hammered," noted a very proud Walsh.

Report: Taylor and Stevens rapped together years ago

A younger Joe Stevens and Mark Taylor

Ratz lose squeaker to Kingfishers

Kingfishers star Matty Walsh leaving Fundy Arena

Blacks Harbour, NB - All is quiet in Ratz Nation this morning after they lost a close one Tuesday night 11-2 to the arch rivals Fundy Kingfishers. The Ratz were in the game at the puck drop but fell behind early and never recovered. The Kingfishers dazzled and dangled their way through the skeleton staff on the Ratz, who had 9 out of 16 skaters present.

Still, the Ratz Captain Joe Stevens was not about to offer up excuses. He noted, "The Kingfishers came to play tonight. They always get up to play the Ratz. The keyed in on Taylor early and I think Taylor's line might have been -11, although we haven't got the final stats yet. He played with Buchanan and MacDougall and then I took over in the third from Buchanan and we did manage to play half-assed. You decide if it was putting Buchanan on D or moving me up that made the difference. We play Sunday and we hope to get a better effort and a better turn-out."

Report: Kingfishers are #1 in Blacks Harbour

Gerald McGarrigle picking the Kingfishers over Ratz in Tuesday's match

Blacks Harbour, NB - Longtime local sports enthusiast Gerald McGarrigle is picking the Fundy Kingfishers to beat the Bonny River Ratz Tuesday night at the Fundy Arena. McGarrigle noted, "I have my Pro Line picks all done - Kingfishers to beat the Ratz; pure and simple. I know the Ratz have Mark Taylor, but he can't do it all. Put two or three guys on him and he's toast."

Walsh: "We hope to contain Taylor"

"This ain't your Daddy's Ratz anymore"
Matty Walsh as he leaves Kingfishers headquarters

Blacks Harbour, NB -Matty Walsh met with Kingfishers exectutives Monday to go over the game plan for their game versus the Bonny River Ratz at 7:40 Tuesday.

A very serious and solemn Walsh noted, "The best we can hope for is to contain Taylor and try to minimize his impact. He's got a scoring streak going and this guy can fill the net so we'll try to have 2 or 3 guys on him at all times."

Is Richard in Ratz sights?

Andrew Clark's reaction; "Piss on it!"
Frankie Richard at Ratz Meeting Tuesday

Bonny River, NB – Kingfishers veteran Frankie Richard met with Bonny River Ratz management late Tuesday to discuss his future with the organization.

Richard said, “The Ratz are the only team I’d even consider moving to if a deal can be made. I will be meeting with Matty Walsh to determine what can be done.”

Meanwhile, a very upset Walsh noted, “It’s been four years since Richard signed with us and I doubt he still knows how to sign his name so I’m not overly concerned about him signing with anybody.”

Ratz captain Joe Stevens was very tight-lipped but did offer, “I think Richard seems a little too horny to play for us and I wonder what's behind that. I will say that’s the biggest set of horns I've seen all hunting season so that's a positive."

Ratz lose tough one in shootout

Stevens pays the price in loss

A visibly shaken Joe Stevens after loss

Blacks Harbour, NB - The St. George XXX needed a shootout to put the FIHL's top-ranked Bonny River Ratz Tuesday night. Gregg Buchanan and Sara Ross scored in a shootout while Joe Stevens was the only Ratz player to bend the twine. The XXX prevailed 4-3 despite a valiant Ratz effort. Joe Stevens suffered a life-threatening injury early in thr first period but returned for the final stanza. Stevens is expected to make a complete recovery and is scheduled to be in the line-up for next Tuesday's match with rival Fundy Kingfishers.

Ryan MacDonald, Jamie Ross, and Gregg Buchanan scored in regulation for the XXX and Jason McFarlane, Andrew Moffitt and Mark Taylor replied for the Ratz. It was goal #881 for Taylor, who continues to edge toward his next milestone of 900. Both goalies, Warren Giesbrecht and Nick Ganong were steady between the pipes. After the game, XXX netminder Ganong noted, "I will have a hard time sleeping tonight after Taylor scored on me." When asked about the comment, Taylor replied, "I don't see why he'd say that. It wasn't my first one on him and it won't be my last. If that's the case, I must be the source of a lot of insomnia in this area."

Taylor releases secret ingredient to phenomenal success

Mr. Zogs Sex Wax for Hockey Sticks

Being sold by Mark Taylor - "Mr. 800"

Bonny River, NB - If you're toiling in a hockey league and would like to see your numbers increase, why not use what Mark Taylor uses, the scorer of 880 career goals? Taylor has obtained a sizable shipment of Mr. Zogs Sex Wax and is offering it up the general public as "2 pucks for 5 bucks."

In case you haven't been out of your cave in awhile, Mark Taylor is the undisputed "King of Industrial League Hockey," according to former teammates Matty Walsh and Chris Richardson.

You apply it over the tape of your stick and it flattens out the tape to allow a smoother shot and makes the blade stickier to help you control the puck for stick-handling, passing and shooting. Goalies also apply it to the shaft of their stick to help their grip.

See Mark Taylor to get your edge and get on your way to stardom. If Mr. 800 is using it, why aren't you?

Corey Spear partying with George W.

Former President George Bush and Corey Spear

Bonny River, NB - It was supposed to be top secret but news has leaked out that Ratz star Corey Spear has been photographed partying with former US President George W. Bush.

Ratz captain Joe Stevens met with reporters on Monday morning and noted, "We are aware of Spear whooping it up, and we are told he will not be available for Tuesday's game VS the XXX. I'm not saying that's his choice and that's all I'm saying at this time. No further comment."