The Hockey Voice : Richardson and Walsh "Worried" About Hockey Voice Editor

Friday, July 17, 2009

Richardson and Walsh "Worried" About Hockey Voice Editor

Wayne Barrett and Mark Taylor Celebrating Leafs Nation

Bonny River, NB - The Hockey Voice VP of Operations guy Chris Richardson issued a very brief but concise statement early Friday morning. Richardson noted, "I have spoken to Matty Walsh and we are both in agreement that perhaps Mark Taylor has finally gone over the edge. When a picture of him wearing a Leafs jersey surfaced last night, I feel it is my duty to step in and run things for awhile. Matty will assist me in this what we hope is a very short period of time."

Walsh was met at Hockey Voice headquarters and offered, "Something has to be done. Taylor must be overworked or something. I realize he was visiting with Wayne and maybe wanted to cheer him up, but c'mon, man. A Leafs jersey? Richardson and I will be sharing the top dog duties for awhile and we have given Mr. Taylor some much needed time off. The Hockey Voice will continue to report the same 100 % factual stories complete with untouched photos. Stay tuned for further developments."

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You might be from Charlotte County if......

1. You wear jogging pants and you have never gone and have no intention of going jogging.

2. You have barbecued baloney.

3. Your marriage proposal includes “You’re gonna have a what?”

4. You have picked up some beer on the way to work.

5. You have pictures of yourself beside giant weed plants.

6. Your wedding picture has a stick of tips in the background.

7. Your first words when you come out of a coma are, “Did I miss hunting season?”

8. You have ever used your kids swing set to pull the engine out of your vehicle.

9. The centerpiece on your lawn used to get 30 miles to the gallon.

10. You can’t find your lawnmower.

11. You have ever said “The war is on!” after you find out somebody is using your treestand.

12. You have ever complained about how dirty your white socks get when you wear sandals.

13. You have ever said, “Want a hit off that thing, Mom?”

14. You buy beer to expand your summer wardrobe with hats and shirts.

15. You refuse to slide in softball because you don’t want to crush your smokes.

16. You have a road sign under your wood stove.

17. You’ve watched the Stanley Cup playoffs in your underwear.

18. Your discarded freezer now holds your garbage.

19. You’ve worn a beer T shirt to a parent-teacher interview.

20. You know all the cast on the Trailer Park Boys, but don’t know your local MP or MLA.

21. You have ever checked your oil at a funeral.

22. You’ve thrown a party just to get the empties.

23. You have to get work done to your “rigging” and everybody knows you’re not going to a mechanic.

24. You cried the day your son/daughter first got served at the liquor store.

25. You’re paying higher payments on your 4 wheeler than your engagement ring.

26. You’re saving your beer bottles to buy a 4 wheeler.

27. You’ve ever been in a “racket” over booking vacation time for moose or deer season.

28. You check the Court News to see if any of your hockey, softball, darts, or crib teammates is going for a “trip.”

29. You have put an ad in the paper telling people to return shit that you have had stolen from you.

30. You use an abandoned or broken down in your yard car as lawn furniture.

31. You have ever paid a bill with beer and/or weed.

32. You have ever said “I got one of them home,” if somebody asks you it you want a bag.

33. You have ever told somebody they had “nice looking pigs and/or nice looking firewood.”

34. You’ve ever poked the old man in the mouth at Christmas for “being a prick.”

35. You wouldn’t go to a party because “All’s gonna be there is a buncha dinks.”

36. The brewery laid off a shift when your Dad died.

37. The entertainment at your wedding was a boom box.

38. You broke a toe when your belt buckle hit it.

39. You’ve muted your TV before farting.

40. You’ve had to move a baby seat to make love.

41. You bought dinner at a pet shop.

42. Your cheques feature pictures of dogs fighting.

43. Your pen pal is a guy you “did weekends with.”

44. You’re banned from all your son’s sporting events.

45. Making your bed disturbs at least three animals.

46. The dentist tells you both your teeth have cavities.

47. You’ve missed more than a week’s work with heartburn.

48. You whistle at women at a funeral.

49. You’ve switched over to beer to sober up a bit.

50. You’ve put a sign “No more toking” inside your house.

51. You answered your cellphone at a wedding.

52. Going for a drive involves “catching ‘er in gear.”

53. You have no idea how many pets you have.

54. Your snowshoes are actually tennis rackets.

55. You’ve ever sang at a pet’s funeral.

56. If “playing caps with friends” is mentioned in your obituary.

57. If you’ve ever put .22 shells in a woodstove to liven things up at a camp.

58. If you've ever put in your Moneysaver or Courier ad "Good for a camp."

The Hockey Voice

Friday, July 17, 2009

Richardson and Walsh "Worried" About Hockey Voice Editor

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