Thursday, January 28, 2010

Ratz "Bonny River Big Line" on Fire

Mark Taylor, Jim Buchanan and Joe Stevens

Bonny River, NB - If the Bonny River Ratz are going to have any playoff success, they will need production from the newly formed line called the "Bonny River Big Line." That's the word from team captain Joe Stevens. "Greg Justason is adjusting to his new role on the second line nicely now that he has gotten over the initial blow. We brought up Buchanan to be the policeman for the BIG line. We can't have Taylor chucking them if we are to have any success. We need him to focus on the offensive side of his game. This line has been on fire and I really can't see anybody being able to stop us," noted Stevens.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I ain't got nothing for this one

You put your own headline in here
Kingfishers Matty Walsh

The Hockey Voice Swimsuit Edition Preview

The Hockey Voice shows why women make better calendars
Chris Hoffman is Mr. June
Chris Richardson is Mr. September

Jamie Harris is Mr. April

Kingfishers poised to claw back Fish Bowl

Kingfishers Captain Greg Groom meets with press

Blacks Harbour, NB - Coming off a shootout win against the St. George XXX, Kingfishers team captain Greg Groom said he was "excited" about the upcoming playoffs. "We feel that if we can get the right refs in our line up and play good hockey, we can beat anybody. I really like our chances if that makes any sense. The one thing that is on everybody's mind is when is Taylor gonna catch fire and tear up the league again? If that happens, all bets are off," said a very nervous Groom.


Monday, January 25, 2010

Walsh warns Timberwolves

"Look out! We're right in the rear view mirror!"
Kingfishers GM Matty Walsh

Blacks Harbour, NB - Kingfishers General Manager Matty Walsh warns the rival Blacks Harbour Timberwolves that his squad has not given up on first place yet. "I heard first the Timberwolves beat the Ratz 8-1 last night and then I heard it was 8-7 and the ref called some kind of greasy penalty on Taylor late in the game when the outcome was still in question. Then I heard it two of our boys reffing and I became infuriated. Being the recognizable player in the league with almost 900 goals shouldn't stop Taylor though. I don't know really what happened but have a feeling Levesque and Dugas must have pulled some kind of a stunt again. The actually screw their socks on, they're so crooked - cross-threaded too," added Walsh.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Timberwolves and Kingfishers tangle for first place tonight

Matty Walsh on the way to Kingfishers meeting Tuesday morning

Blacks Harbour, NB - The two teams are deadlocked for first place and tonight one of them will be in second place. The 2008-2009 Champions Blacks Harbour Timberwolves and Fundy Kingfishers each have 17-3-0 records, good enough for 34 points in the FIHL standings.

Matty Walsh stormed by reporters early Tuesday morning on his way to a team meeting but stopped to chat. "We will be without our biggest asset tonight - Jamie Harris. We are seeking the assistance of Lorne Grant to play net for us. Harris has been huge for us, but Lorne certainly is no slouch. Worse case Ontario - I'm in net and ain't npbody wanting that, boys," added Walsh. "At least we don't have to face the Ratz tonight who are facing the Pirates after our game. I hear they are gonna keep a few guys high and try to get some breaks," noted Walsh.

Timberwolves captain Dan Levesque offered no comments but was contacted by the Hockey Voice.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Matty Walsh obtains mystery photo

Blacks Harbour, NB - Hockey Voice photography drector Matty Walsh says he is trying to determine the identity people in a picture he received. "The Hockey Voice has never been known for doctoring up pictures of people and putting them out into the public and we aren't about to start now. We have some leads but no names as yet," said Walsh in an interview.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Vintage prom photo of Joe Walsh surfaces

Joe Walsh and unidentified prom date

Matty Walsh found an old photo of his brother Joe in the attic and decided to share it with everybody. "I don't know when it was exactly, but do recall it was the first time I was proud to say he was my brother. The bitching outfit he had on was one that I was really jealous of at the time,"noted Walsh.


Ratz on 5 game skid, look for answers

Team Captain Joe Stevens


Bonny River, NB - When the Bonny River Ratz step on the ice next Tuesday, it will be over a month since they posted a victory. Their last win was Dec. 15 VS the St. George XXX. The team is looking for answers and decided they would seek the public's help with the dilemma they are currently faced with. This week's poll question will ask what is wrong with the storied franchise and they will take the recommendations to heart and hopefully, solve the issue once and for all.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Smith cut from Kingfishers, services no longer needed

Former Ratz Star cut from Kingfishers
Shane Smith told to "hit the road"

Blacks Harbour, NB - Shane Smith's attempt at a comeback has been cut short by the knife of the Fundy Kingfishers. Smith had come home from Alberta during the holiday season in hopes of landing a job with the Fundy Kingfishers and was unceremoniously cut by the team yesterday. Smith's departure was announced by Team GM Matty Walsh yesterday.

"Although Smith's time with our club was full of adventure, we feel that we are headed in another direction as a team. It's unfortunate that he could not deliver the style of play we needed. We wish all the best in his comeback," noted Walsh.

Smith was surprised by the notice and offered, "If Matty Walsh or any of that crew knew anything about hockey and I don't think they do, I'd still be on the first line. I was the 2001 Ratz Rookie of the Year and beat Walsh out that year in case he forgot. Now he's telling me I've seen better days? I could make a phone to Joe Stevens right now and be on the next plane to Pennfield Airport and playing for the Ratz tonight. I could be sipping a nice big drink of Smirnoff and Tang crystals down the Bay in no time. Matty Walsh can take that team and shove it where the sun don't shine."

Friday, January 8, 2010

Twisters holding Pond Hockey Tournament

Blackland Twisters Pond Hockey Tournament

St. Stephen, NB - The FIHL team Blackland Twisters are holding a pond hockey tournament that they hope will become an annual event.

It will be held at Digdeguash Lake on Feb. 20 at 9 a.m. (weather permitting of course.)

It's 80 bucks to get your four player team in the tournament and the prize is $500 cold hard cash.

You are guaranteed 3 games. The games consists of two 15 minute periods.
Top 4 teams of each division make crossovers.

Refreshments will be available. This should prove to be a great day of fun and we certainly encourage everybody to get in.

You can contact Ryan Weatherby at ryanweatherby@hotmail.com or call 467-2219. Ryan will have directions on how to get there and can answer any other questions you may have. See ya there!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Tip on getting a high score on multiple choce tests


Anderson picked as top FIHL official for 2009

Anderson Grabs "Vague Optical Award"
2009 FIHL Official of the Year Gordie Anderson

Harris upset over Walsh's antics

Matty Walsh poses for cameras during Tuesday night's game

Blacks Harbour, NB - Former Kingfishers bigwig Jamie Harris had lots to say after his team's victory Tuesday night. Harris was upset over the lack of intensity demonstrated by Matty Walsh and others. "They had Taylor on the bench and everybody was shits and giggles all the time. The Voice has a picture of Walsh in sunglasses while we were down 5-4 in a very important game. No wonder he got dropped off the Groom line and Taylor put MacQuarrie on the it. MacQuarrie got a hat trick and Walsh never got a sniff. I think it's time to get serious about hockey again. This ain't Hollywood," noted Harris.

Blackier and Clark upset over Kingfishers' tactics

Mark Taylor offers advice to Shane Smith in Tuesday FIHL game
Chris Backier and Matt Clark before meeting with league officials
Lepreau, NB - Matt Clark and Chris Blackier are hopping mad and said they have sought legal advice on the matter. The two Lepreau Pirates executives are questioning how the Fundy Kingfishers can hire the quality of coaching they have appeared to do. Blackier noted, "I looked on the bench and they had Taylor back there coaching them. Yeah, the same Taylor that has 873 career goals. I didn't like it at first and when they poured it on in the third period Tuesday night and won, I was fuming. We don't have the resources to hire consultants or coaching and they do? I feel they got an unfair advantage and I'd like somebody to do something about it."

Kingfishers GM Matty Walsh was sympathetic but not to the point where he was willing to hand back the two points. "Any time you can get help like that, you take it. We were down 5-3 after two periods. Taylor shuffled the deck and we came out flying. You really can polish a turd, man," added Walsh.



Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Monday, January 4, 2010

Former Ratz Star suits up with Kingfishers

Shane Smith relaxes just before Sunday's game

Blacks Harbour, NB - It was awhile ago when Shane Smith agreed to a one year deal with the Bonny River Ratz, but it is obvious the Ratz are trying to distance themselves from the former star. Ratz team captain Joe Stevens said, "There was a time when Smith could have played valuable minutes for our club, but since I've seen him and his pink bedroom set, I think we could do without him. We have moved in another direction."

Blackier files suit against Hockey Voice

Lepreau, NB - It appears that Doobie doesn't find the Hockey Voice all that funny and has served notice that he will not tolerate the foolishness. Doobie, who also goes by the name of Chris Blackier, made an announcement this morning in front of a throng of reporters. " I don't really know what the intent of the Hockey Voice was in this story, but my lawyers are all over this like a fat kid on a box of Smarties," noted a very distraught Doobie.

Harris: "It's time to get serious"

Jamie Harris, Greg Groom and Matty Walsh launch protest

Blacks Harbour, NB - Kingfishers star goalie Jamie Harris met with reporters late Sunday and was in no mood for funny stuff. "I find the world is nothing but shits and giggles nowadays and it's time to shut it down. Even the beloved Hockey Voice which used to be based solely on the local hockey scene and accomplishments, has turned into nothing but a bunch of crazy stuff. I mean, you can't even look on it now without somebody's picture being altered or photo shopped. Me, Matty Walsh and Greg Groom are the voices of reason in my mind and we are taking our protest to the streets. Today, January 4, 2010 is International No Smile Day." said Harris.