The Hockey Voice : Murray signs 4 game tryout deal with Ratz

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Murray signs 4 game tryout deal with Ratz

Kevin Murray just before inking deal with Ratz

Bonny River, NB - Long time Ratz veteran defenseman Kevin Murray signed a 4 game tryout deal with the team early Wednesday morning. The terms were not disclosed, but Ratz captain Joe Stevens said that the deal "would keep the Ratz under the salary cap and under budget for the BIG Show." He added, "Signing Kevin Murray is like pissing in the snow. You notice it right away; but you never know just how much damage it does until later. Murray will definitely do some damage. He's been away from the game all year and we feel he can still contribute. He knows the BIG Show and how grueling it can be and will pace himself accordingly ."

Murray met with reporters briefly, and added, "I'm excited about getting the chance to get back in the game again. I never said good-bye, I just said take 'er easy boys. I know the BIG Show is a great place for me to show that I can still play a high level. I will not let Stevens and the boys down."

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1. You wear jogging pants and you have never gone and have no intention of going jogging.

2. You have barbecued baloney.

3. Your marriage proposal includes “You’re gonna have a what?”

4. You have picked up some beer on the way to work.

5. You have pictures of yourself beside giant weed plants.

6. Your wedding picture has a stick of tips in the background.

7. Your first words when you come out of a coma are, “Did I miss hunting season?”

8. You have ever used your kids swing set to pull the engine out of your vehicle.

9. The centerpiece on your lawn used to get 30 miles to the gallon.

10. You can’t find your lawnmower.

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13. You have ever said, “Want a hit off that thing, Mom?”

14. You buy beer to expand your summer wardrobe with hats and shirts.

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28. You check the Court News to see if any of your hockey, softball, darts, or crib teammates is going for a “trip.”

29. You have put an ad in the paper telling people to return shit that you have had stolen from you.

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31. You have ever paid a bill with beer and/or weed.

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33. You have ever told somebody they had “nice looking pigs and/or nice looking firewood.”

34. You’ve ever poked the old man in the mouth at Christmas for “being a prick.”

35. You wouldn’t go to a party because “All’s gonna be there is a buncha dinks.”

36. The brewery laid off a shift when your Dad died.

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54. Your snowshoes are actually tennis rackets.

55. You’ve ever sang at a pet’s funeral.

56. If “playing caps with friends” is mentioned in your obituary.

57. If you’ve ever put .22 shells in a woodstove to liven things up at a camp.

58. If you've ever put in your Moneysaver or Courier ad "Good for a camp."

The Hockey Voice

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Murray signs 4 game tryout deal with Ratz

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