Still Rollin’ on the River June 17, 2008
By now we all know and it has been clinically proven, that killing spiders does make it rain. I used to think that it was all made up like people telling you not to swim right after you eat and that sometimes when you make faces, your face will stay that way. Somebody was saying that this shit is taught in the school system as well, but I must have been sick that day.
In light of all this, I would like to know who the rotten sons of whores who killed all the spiders in this area lately because we've got a pisspot full of rain and somebody must have wiped out a nest or something. I was watching CNN one night and George Bush came on and called on all the people to stop killing the spiders, especially the itsy bitsy ones. And no, I don’t think I dreamed this all up or that it didn’t happen.
I was behind this guy the other day that had what I thought was a very thought provoking thing on his New Brunswick license plate. Under the license plate number, it had the word “Conversation” written in small letters. If you weren’t looking for it, you wouldn’t notice it at all, but of course, old Hawkeye here picked right up on it. I suspect it is a very clever thing the government put on there to get us all talking and I think it will go a long ways to promote peace and harmony in what used to be called the Picture Province, but is now just called Nouveau Brunswick. I ain’t no rocket specialist, but I think they should have had some conversation about putting the goddam fines so high that an honest man can’t afford them anymore.
One big fashion trend from the past that has gone by the wayside is the use of the ear for putting things behind. Now all they are used for is pretty well is to hang earrings on and that’s unfortunate. You used to see people with pencils and cigarettes mainly, but not any more. I remember one time I got my ear chopped off in kindling accident and somebody found it in the snow. When they first handed it to me, I refused it because mine had a pencil behind it, but then I realized that it was a really good chance that it was mine. The story ended happily ever after and I can now keep my sunglasses straight thanks to the quick thinking and a good doctor’s needle.
All through time, people have marvelled at the great memory of the big elephant, including me. I will be the first to admit that I don’t know anything about an elephant’s memory, but I do like the saying. I am still waiting to hear about one of these critters getting a big whack in the noggin and see what happens then. I bet if they ever got a big body check from former NHL-er Scott Stevens, they might not be recalling everything that happened. I wonder if Cheech and Chong had an elephant, would he be as sharp as a marble? I somehow suspect not.
No comments:
Post a Comment