Cunningham Trying to Get FIHL Games Televised

Cunningham: "I am the Grapes of the FIHL!"

Geoff Cunnigham Meets with Press on Tuesday

Blacks Harbour, NB - Despite the fact the FIHL season is now over, Geoff Cunningham is already focused on next year. The opinionated puckster says he has an offer on the table that will allow his company comprised of a consortium of Pennfield millionaires to televise FIHL games next season.

Cunningham said, "We will carry all games in Blacks Harbour if the price is right. I have signed on as the colour commentator and the play by play man has not been hired as yet. We don't want to go too far down the road without a deal being signed. We are talking to Walsh and Taylor right now and things are progressing quite well. Horse Piss Beer and Fat Bastard Wine have already given us the green light as far as advertising revenues go."

Cunningham and his partners were rumoured earlier to be buying the Bonny River Ratz and that has not gone away. Based on the silver medal showing at the 2009 BIG SHOW, the asking price has possibly gone up too much for the group.

The Hockey Voice Salutes the 2008-2009 SHL Champs

The Blacks Harbour Silver Kings After the Victory on Sunday in St. Andrews

You made to the top of the pack!

Good luck at the Provincials!

Lots of Great Quotes from 2009 BIG SHOW

Memorable Quotes from 2009 BIG SHOWRatz Captain Joe Stevens Before Game 2

• "You know when you're a kid and they tell you that playing sports is not about winning or losing, it's all about having fun. I think that's how they decided we were in the final." Joe Stevens on the BIG SHOW organizers decision to place Ratz in the Finals.
  
• "Hey boys, there's no team that deserves to be here more than us." Ratz assistant Captain Carl Chambers on the Ratz berth in the finals.
• "We are not sure we want to allow you in the finals after that performance tonight." two BIG SHOW organizers in Ratz dressing room after Game 3.
• "It seems you had the attitude you had already made it to the finals." two BIG SHOW organizers in Ratz dressing room after Game 3.


• "Hey buddy, your back must be burned some bad." Donnie "Double D" Dibbly to Ratz goalie Lorne Grant after it appeared that the Ratz were not going to take home the big prize in the finals.
• "THAT'S BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT" Joe Stevens after he was told he was assessed a penalty for rough play and a subsequent game misconduct for unsportsmanlike conduct.
  
• "Hey boys, the only guys with any balls are already in the dressing room." Joe Stevens commenting on the fact that Carl Chambers, Shane Watson and he were ejected from Game 3 and were sitting in the dressing room prematurely.
• "C'mon Double D, you're scared of him!" Joe Stevens on Donnie Dibbly's decision to not engage in fisticuffs at the end of game 2.
• "Hey man, you got some really smooth wheels out there." A unnamed played from the Irving Team in post game 2 handshake to Joe Stevens.
• "I guess you haven't seen much hockey buddy." Joe Stevens to unnamed Irving player in Game 2 handshake.

Ratz Come Home with Silver at 2009 BIG SHOW

Import Jim Fullerton Added Some Much Needed Scoring Punch with Mark Johnson

Shane Watson and Kyle "Chop" Leslie at Team Meal at Rocky's Between games

2 & 3

BIG SHOW Co-Organizer Dougie MacDonald and Ratz Goalie Lorne Grant after Game 2

Import Donnie "Double D" Dibbly Brought More Grit to Ratz Game

Blackland Twisters at BIG SHOW

Unknown Gangsta Flashes Money at BIG SHOW

Import Dennis Legere (Left) Help Boost Ratz Offense for Games 2 & 3

Captain Joe Stevens Before Game 3 Saturday Night

One of Life's Biggest Lessons

Ratz in Hole at 2009 BIG SHOW

Stevens: "Ratz Need Next Two Games"

Ratz Goalie Lorne Grant was Solid in Net

Mark Johnson Models Ratz New Look Socks
Don "Bo" Dibbly, Jim Fullerton and Jim Buchanan In Post Game Meeting

Quispamsis, NB - The Bonny River Ratz fell 6-4 to the Pacesetters in 2009 BIG SHOW action on Thursday night. Joe Stevens scrambled to replace players that he released earlier in the day. Stevens brought Donnie Dibbly and Jim Fullerton to replace Greg Justason and Eric Truman who were given their walking papers. Stevens would not comment on the reason, but did say, "They are gone for the BIG SHOW and we'll talk after that. I think I may be able to add Truman for Saturday's tilts but I ain't saying 100 % for now. I have to keep my options open here. We didn't play well tonight and I should be pointing fingers but I won't for now. The screw ups know who they are anyway. I will say Taylor and I can't do it all. "

Dugas: "Timberwolves Celebration Good While It Lasted"

Celebration Interrupted By Missing Trophy

Team GM Dan Levesque Show off Prize
Jubilation Galore

Ryan Kinney Holds Trophy Before his Disappearance

Mahar Pokes Hole in Allegations About Walsh

World Famous Crime Fighter Brought In

Sheriff Johnny Borthwick Searches for Clues

Blacks Harbour, NB – There has been a break in the case of the missing Fish Bowl. A tip from Jeremy Mahar has shone new light on the allegation that Matty Walsh was the perpetrator in the theft. Mahar’s astute police work arose from his knowledge of Walsh’s most common characteristic and that being his fondness for wearing joggers. Mahar noted, “There is a 0% chance that is Matty. All the proof that I need is the fact that the alleged thief is not wearing joggers.”

Bonny River Sheriff Johnny Borthwick was on hand to survey the crime scene and concurred with Mahar’s assessment. Borthwick said, “Mahar has hit the nail on the head. We are looking at other avenues at our disposal right now. We are not ruling out an inside job. Mr. Dugas’ anger appeared to be contrived and bit overdone. I am too old of a dog to get screwed by a pup.”

FIHL Launches Investigation

Blurry Images Matty Walsh? Alleged Thief Matty WalshAndrew Dugas in Happier Times

Blacks Harbour, NB - The images are a staunch reminder of how serious people can be about their sports. Although very blurry, surveillance cameras caught a burglar attempting to steal the Fish Bowl Tuesday night that appear to be Matty Walsh.

Timberwolves assistant GM Andrew Dugas blew the story wide open and is incensed about the incident. Dugas was composed but very upset when he noted, "What is wrong with people? I mean, what good would that trophy be to anybody if you never earned it? You may as well have a pisspot in your house. I have contacted Bonny River Sheriff Johnny Borthwick about this one. That's how serious it is."

"Racket" at Timberwolves Celebration

Unknown Bikini Supermodel in Timberwolves Dressing Room

Blacks Harbour, NB - Team GM Dan Levesque and assistant Andrew Dugas have promised an investigation will be held to determine how a bikini supermodel made her way into their dressing room Wednesday night.

Dugas said, "Ryan Kinney was here having a few pops and said he had to go get something out of his wheels and he never came back. Instead, this fugly chick came in and started coming onto people. We haven't been able to track Kinney down, but when we do, we want some answers."

Cunnigham Heads to BIG SHOW to Scout for 2009-2010 Season

Possible Ratz Buyer Geoff Cunningham

Pennfield, NB - Geoff Cunningham donned his new binoculars for reporters on Friday and says he's headed to the BIG SHOW in Quispamsis this weekend. The move has caused further speculation that Cunningham and a group of other Pennfield billionaires are poised to buy the Bonny River Ratz. Cunnigham added, "I'm going to watch the boys play and to sip a few coolies. Stevens has apparently overhauled the roster a bit and I need to see what they have. The story goes that Jamie Harris and Matty Walsh were both told they were not needed due to personality issues. Joe Walsh was told to stay in Toronto this year due to last year's performance. I also heard Frankie Richard was informed by Stevens that a drunk porcupine would be faster than him and he could leave his gear in the trunk. But you know the way it goes - ya hear so much."

Ratz representatives have not confirmed or denied the rumours that persist.

Rocket Struggles to Keep Awake

Timberwolves Star Rocket Robert Doiron Tries to Keep Eyes Open at Party

Scammell Mania Hits!

Shaq Sports New Scammell Tough Guy Shirt

Blacks Harbour, NB - The victory celebration is not even 24 hours old and already people like Shaq and others are on board with Scammell Mania. Notorious Timberwolves tough guy Eric Scammell has seen his likeness scrawled all over the planet and admits he's a little overwhelmed. He said, "You know, winning the Fish Bowl is one thing, but when you get your picture in the Hockey Voice you know you've arrived as a real celebrity. I'm grateful for the coverage and I will make sure I get a Shaq shirt now. Like they used to tell me in Dorchester, you scratch my bag, I'll scratch yours man."

Welcome to FIHL Jeopardy!

Timberwolves GM Dan Levesque

Ratz Book is the Other New Release

New Book on Ratz

Bonny River, NB - After urging by many people, the Bonny River Ratz have released a book that will allow people to understand the mystique behind the franchise. Co-author Joe Stevens noted, "For years many people have come and gone and it takes a special type of individual to be one of the Ratz. Ask Matty Walsh, Shane Smith, or Joe Walsh what it means to be a Ratz player and they will say immediately - very special. We have been very careful who we have recruited and if we feel you're suitable, you're gone. Everybody knows that coming in; you can be gone as fast as you got here. By the way, you don't have to be an idiot to read this book, but it helps."

This book will teach you the basics and you can build on them and hone your skills to be a true Ratz player. Some things included are the "take no shit look," and the "what's this asshole talking about" look. There are illustrations of Stevens and other Ratz players demonstrating the proper eyebrow and facial contortions to make these and other moves possible so you can pratcice in the mirror.

The book reminds the reader again and again that "you are not on the Ratz because you're like this, you're like this because you're on the Ratz."

Former Ratz star Shane Smith has a special chapter where he outlines his experiences with the club. Smith relates how the team bonds together when the going gets tough or the when the cops are buzzing around. Smith obviously misses the comraderie of the Ratz and often harkens back to the days when he sported the red, white and blue of the Ratz.

Two New Books Hit Shelves Today

Matty Walsh's New Book a Big Hit!

Blacks Harbour, NB - Let's say you're in a meeting and you suddenly doze off or zone out and somebody asks you a question. Then you respond, "Oh yeah, like I was saying, it's always coffee time. Let's take a little breather here." Chances are you have read Chapter 1 in Matty Walsh's new book Bullshitting for Dummies. It tells you how to wiggle out life's little emergencies like this one and a whole lot more. Don't have the $39.99 to buy it? Well, the next step here is to grab a coffee and say, "My memory is going. Now what was that question again? Maybe you could simplify it or put it in layman's terms so we can all understand it? Hahahahhaha!"

Available where all fantastic and awesome books are sold.

Chamberlain Joins in KIngfishers Kid's Day Celebration

Fish Bowl Could Be Awarded Tonight

Goalies in the Spotlight

L.D. Ganong in Action (Top) Andrew Dugas (Bottom)

XXX Tender Nick L. D. Ganong Chillaxing
Timberwolves Andrew Dugas Chillaxing

Blacks Harbour, NB - The St. George XXX are facing elimination tonight and Kingfishers GM Matthew Walsh says "The Fish Bowl will be in the House, know what I'm saying?" The Kingfishers have had the trophy since its inception and will be sad to see it go.

Coming off a 6-5 overtime win Monday night thanks to Randy Hanley's marker, the Timberwolves are poised to take the trophy and run. Most experts feel that it entirely possible a game 3 will be needed but it really comes to goaltending. Both teams have proven tenders with the XXX having FIHL Top Goalie Nick Ganong between the irons.

Former Ratz standout and now Timberwolves door slammer Andrew Dugas need not take a back seat to anybody in this league. Dugas credits a lot of the success this team has enjoyed thus far to GM Dan Levesque. Dugas said, "We haven't won anything yet and the boys have to understand that. Dan has assembled an awesome team and win or lose, he's the guy who deserves the most kudos. I am wearing my dancing shoes tonight just in case."

Sometimes Words are Hard to Come By

Cunningham Reports: "Ratz are on the Market for Sale"

Mike Gould Meets the Press on Tuesday

Cunningham in Charlotte Co. Tuxedo on the Red Carpet at Golden Partridge Awards

Pennfield, NB – Hockey Voice insider Geoff Cunningham’s name has come up as part of a giant consortium of Pennfield people that is rumoured to be kicking the tires of the Bonny River Ratz. Cunningham, along with Mike Gould, and another person not yet named, has expressed interest according to reports. Although Cunningham seemed to be elusive as to whether the reports are true or not, his tone seemed to suggest they are true.

Cunningham, when reached on Tuesday, offered, “If I was to invest in the Ratz organization, and I say if, there would have to be some major changes put in place. I would bring in another prolific scorer like Taylor to give the team some offense and a reputable bench boss as well. Taylor has been carrying this team for too long and it’s time to give him some help. The team seems to struggle putting the puck in the net in the post season when the games mean something. There will be lots of changes if we were to purchase the Ratz. We are sending scouts to the BIG SHOW this weekend to get a clearer picture of the talent that is there. ”

Kingfishers "Kids Day" a Big Hit

Matty Walsh, Scooby Doo and Unidentified Child

Blacks Harbour, NB - Now that the Kingfishers have been knocked out of the FIHL playoffs, team GM Matty Walsh thought it would be a good idea to give back to the community. Walsh and the team hosted a Kids Day at Fundy Arena with plenty of treats and games to go around. Walsh said, "It was good to see all the kids and it was big hit. We got to sign a few numchucks and the kids had fun bobbing for French Fries. When we cracked a couple kegs, the parents seem to leave for some reason."

Some Members of XXX Shy About the Finals

Chippy Chiller Would Rather Hide than Play it Seems

XXX Take Aim at Timberwolves

Jason McGrattan, LD Ganong and Scott Matheson Share a Laugh on Monday

Moffitt Trims Up New Ride

Andrew Moffitt with Tin Foil Rims

St. Stephen, NB - It may not make Pimp my Ride, but that doesn't bother Andrew Moffitt. His new bike with tin foil rims is just the latest of his creations. Moffitt said, "I used to put hockey cards on the spokes. Now I have progressed to this. I can fix anybody up if they are interested in dressing up their rides."

Vintage Photo of Bagley Surfaces

Josh Bagley in Pretty Shorts

Blacks Harbour, NB - Josh Bagley was a bronze medal winner in the 1993 Charlotte County Tug of War Championship held in Honeydale. Bagley said, "This was one of my proudest moments. I really gave it my all, 110 % if you will."

Joe Walsh Ties the Knot

Hockey Voice Entertainment Critic Joe Walsh and Family

Toronto, Ontario, Canada - Joe Walsh has tied the knot and says he couldn't be happier. He noted, "There would have to be two of me to be happier right now boys. Me and Edith are really glad to get this over with. I want to thank everybody at the Hockey Voice for the keg of beer, beef jerky and condoms. The last one may have been a little late but I know everybody means well and that's what counts in my books. I look forward to coming back home to party with everybody. Get the monster trucks tuned up 'cause old Joe's coming home pretty soon and the stomping boots are going on! Turn down the suck and turn up the good."

Bagley Enters Charlotte County's Next Supermodel Contest

A Very Shy Josh Bagley

St. George, NB - Josh Bagley says he's been thinking about doing modeling for a long time and now that hockey season is winding down, he will have the time to devote to it. Bagley said, "I was a little shy about it, but when I heard about Charlotte County's Next Supermodel, I was all over it, man. I was Mr. Piskehagen 2008 so I know I have the stuff. Now where it goes from here, is anybody's guess. I am being sponsored by the Hockey Voice, Fat Bastard Wine and Horse Piss Beer and I want to throw a big shout out to them."

Kingfishers "Reload" not "Rebuild"

Matty Walsh on Fundraising Trail Already

Blacks Harbour, NB - It's not even 24 hours since his team exited the playoffs and Matty Walsh is on the attack for next year. Walsh said, "I have some firewood to sell if anybody is interested. I'm not using the Hockey Voice to peddle my stuff. Just give me a call if you need any and yes, I deliver. We need the money to attract some new players for next season. You can't start too early in my books."

Dugas Sends Back Post Card to MacDonald and McGrattan

Blacks Harbour, NB - Balcks Harbour Timberwolves goalie Andrew Dugas said, "I really miss MacDonald and McGrattan too and wish they were here. I want them to know that this where I'm vacationing and they are very welcome to stop by any time. In fact, they will be by next week. Increase the peace."

McGrattan and MacDonald Send Hockey Voice Post Card

St. George, NB - XXX players Ryan MacDonald and Jason McGrattan are vacationing and wanted everybody to know they miss us all and wanted to say a big "hi." McGrattan said, "We are staying in a place called Hooker. They are all really nice people and I'll tell ya, they really know how to take it in their head to make some money."

FIHL Welcomes 2009 Checker Champ

Leo Devine 2009 World Checker Champ

Blacks Harbour, NB - Leo Devine, 2009 World Checker Champ visited Fundy Arena Tuesday night. Matty Walsh, who organized the event, said, "This guy is a world champ. It's not everyday you get somebody like this in your area. I had my checkerboard signed and he gave me a signed T-shirt that says, BULLSHIT, YOU TOOK YOUR FINGER OFF IT! Good stuff."

Timberwolves Advance to League Finals

Kingfishers' Run at the Top is Over

Matty Walsh Salutes Timberwolves

Blacks Harbour, NB - The Blacks Harbour Timberwolves advanced to the FIHL finals by virtue of a 5-2 victory Tuesday night over reigning champs Fundy Kingfishers. Talk of Kingfishers hiring lucky leprechauns did little to deter the Timberwolves from their goal. The Timberwolves will now face the St. George XXX in what should be a dandy of a series. Kingfishers GM Matty Walsh hoisted a cold one to salute the victors and wished them nothing but the best the rest of the way.

Walsh said, "The league has been getting tighter and tighter every year and it is really difficult to prevail. We are happy with our season, but didn't get the result we were looking for. Like Shakespeare said, You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need."

Stevens Dismisses Conditioning as a Factor in Ratz Loss

Joe Stevens after Sunday's Loss

Bonny River, NB - Joe Stevens says the Ratz are in the best shape of any team in the FIHL. He noted, "If Cunny or anybody else wants to talk about the Ratz losing, leave conditioning out of it. I have seen guys doing curls with big cans of beer so I know they are serious about their hockey. No, it may have been a lot of things, but not conditioning, boys."