McMullin Hopes to be Returning Next Season

St. George XXX Star Matt McMullin

Stevens Joins Hockey Voice Officially

New Hockey Voice Insider Joe Stevens

Bonny River, NB – Thank you for all your support as I get acquainted with everybody at the Hockey Voice and gradually get my feet wet. Everybody except Geoff Cunningham has been very supportive of the move.

I don’t know if any of you kids have ever successfully put together a jigsaw puzzle or not. If you have, then I’m sure you will appreciate what Bob Gainey is doing with the Montreal Canadiens. He has tore down some of the old barriers that have held them back and appears to be well on his way to another Stanley Cup next June. I really can’t see anybody stopping them.

I am terribly sorry that Geoff Cunningham got let go from this position at the Hockey Voice and now it is my job, but he was not doing his job and this stuff happens. From what I can piece together, Cunny is losing his mind. He really believes what he says and that’s too bad. He was a pretty bright guy at one time, and now look at him. He’s baked. He’s talking about the Leafs and how they are building a strong team. Brian Burke couldn’t build a button for a shithouse door.

McFarlane Breaks the Silence

Ratz Star Jason McFarlane

Stevens Magic Genie Turns into Disappointment

Joe Stevens with New Pet

Bonny River, NB - For the second time in less than a year, a local person has found a magic genie and unlike many in the past, this one grants only one wish. Joe Stevens found the bottle in the river last Saturday and is now sunken with disappointment. A very shaken Stevens met with reporters late Monday and noted, "I actually read about Matty Walsh's magic genie and you'd think I would have paid more attention but I just blurted out my wish and now I guess I'm stuck with it."

Matty Walsh Shows off his Magic Genie Wish

Blacks Harbour, NB - Matty Walsh says he "feels for his old friend," but said that he should have paid heed to the dilemma he was faced with when he found a magic genie. Walsh said, "The genie tells you that you only have one wish and I guess in the excitement, you just lose it. I know what Joe is going through. I could have been on Easy Street now, but instead I have this giant cat that eats food like a horse. The good news is there's not a mouse within miles of the house now."

Walsh Meets with Investors/Buyers

Cunningham Speeds Away from Reporters

Geoff Cunningham, Mahat Majacket and Matty Walsh

Blacks Harbour, NB - After several failed attempts to secure the Bonny River Ratz hockey team, it appears Geoff Cunningham has switched his attention to the Fundy Kingfishers. The Hockey Voice has obtained confidential documents that reveal Cunningham along with private investors and Walsh have held meetings to discuss the matter.

When contacted by the Hockey Voice, Cunningham offered, "Mr. Mahat Majacket has been a long time friend of mine. We did talk to Walsh and actually had our picture taken together. I'm guessing this is where the Hockey Voice is getting its information. Once again, a story has been broken by the Voice that may be based on some trace of truth, but has been reported as being 100 % factual. If I needed any shit from Taylor, I'd squeeze his head."

MacQuarrie Used to Rock Hard in Ontario in the 70's

Mike MacQuarrie (Far Right) with Old Buddies in the 70's

Joe Walsh Taking Orders for Deer Drags and Watches

Joe Walsh with Revolutionary Product

Toronto, Ontario, Canada - Joe Walsh owns the only hunting camp in Toronto and has been granted exclusivity in the sale of the new product called, "Deer Drag." Walsh said, "I am the Canadian distributor and would like to let the boys know I can get them deals on these bad boys. They make a great Christmas gift or birthday gift for your wife or girlfriend. Just let me know and I'll fix ya up. Also, anybody that needs a good cheap watch, needs to get a hold of me. I got it going on."

Richardson Leaks Out Player Information

Bubbles, Chris Richardson and Matty Walsh at Ratz Summer Camp

Bonny River, NB - Chris Richardson said "he didn't mean to," but released the name of a player the Ratz have been seeking for quite some time. Richardson noted, "I was so overwhelmed to meet a screen legend that I got carried away. Plus, Matty Walsh was there and you know he wasn't gonna shut his trap. Bubs may be taking the place of Andrew Moffitt but Moffitt has to understand, this is not a game, it's a business. I was playing on a line with Bubs at camp and we got along really well. He's a digger for sure. He's a little concerned that the name of the team might scare his kitties too."

McGrattan "XXX Players Having a Wild Summer"

Jason McGrattan in Toronto with Joe Walsh and Jamie Harris

Toronto, Ontario, Canada - Jason McGrattan took time from his vacation in Toronto to talk to reporters. He was visiting Joe Walsh's Urban Hunting Camp where foe Jamie Harris happened to be staying as well. McGrattan said, "It seems the boys and I are having a wild summer. I have never seen anybody saw up watermelon with a chain saw. Joe and I were having a few and he jumps up and pulls the cord and tells me to grab a watermelon and follow him."

Matt Hall at his Recent Wedding

Also, McGrattan addressed the current situation with Matt Hall who apparently got married recently. The Hockey Voice obtained a wedding picture and revealed it to a very shocked McGrattan. McGrattan noted, "I am still trying to find out who he married. I have spoken to a lot of the players on the team and nobody knows anything at this time. All I can say is I hope he's happy and wish him nothing but the best."

Cunningham Gets One Last One In

Geoff Cunningham and an obvious Mats Sundin (#13) late Wednesday

Bonny River, NB - By stating that he technically had one more Hockey Insider story to do, Geoff Cunningham submitted what is supposed to be his last one in this portfolio. Cunningham met with reporters at his house Wednesday night and was in the midst of what appeared to be a huge Christmas celebration. He noted, "We're all pretty buzzed here but here goes. The Leafs have made some huge moves this off season. They have brought in a guy named Orr for shit's sake. What more can I say than that? They got Komisarek from the Habs and now I think he's gonna be the next Aki Berg. They now have Gustavsson in net to compete with the perennial Vezina candidate Toskila. Burke says he's not done yet boys. In my view, there's no reason this team can't compete for 11th or 12th spot in the conference."

Walsh Hands Out Advice to Marathon Runners

Ganong and Stevens Appear to be Headed Toward Gang War

Joe Stevens with Homies
Nick Ganong (Back) Head to Bonny River Wednesday Morning

Joe Walsh Charged with Assault After Episode at Wedding

Joe Walsh Delivers Big Hit at Friend's Wedding

Toronto, Ontario, Canada - Joe Walsh's legal issues seem to be getting worse. The troubled Hockey Voice columnist has been charged with assault after laying a big hit on a lady at a friend's wedding. Walsh has released a statement - "I recall Taylor telling me that if I see somebody coming right in the tracks with their head down, do not miss the chance to deliver the hit. This girl had a drink in her hand and was looking down at it. I spied this from the other end of the hall and took about five big strides and cleaned 'er. If that's assault, then they oughta do something about the criminal code then. I got my hip into her really good and she went flying. Shit, I even bought her another drink and asked her if she wanted to stink up a room."

Cunningham Accepts New Position but Sounds off About the Voice

Geoff Cunningham Outside Hockey Voice Headquarters

Bonny River, NB – In the second part of the re-organization of the staff, the Hockey Voice announced the assignment of Geoff Cunningham to full time head psychic. Editor Mark Taylor said, “Geoff’s experience with the paranormal has been instrumental in giving the Hockey Voice instant credibility with his amazing predictions.”

Taylor refused comment on why the Hockey Insider portfolio was taken from Cunningham and given to Joe Stevens.

However, Cunningham was caught leaving the Hockey Voice headquarters and offered, “This whole thing is political. I have been making some comments to Taylor about the Leafs re-building and the Habs apparent demise. He didn’t like it and decided to give the job to a more Habs-friendly guy like Stevens. To call this announcement bullshit would be like calling the Habs trash. I don’t care. I’ll keep doing my psychic thing and have fun. We’ll see how Stevens does.”

Hockey Voice Announces Changes

Stevens Joins Hockey Voice as the New Hockey Insider

Joe Stevens with Pictures of his Hockey Heroes in the Background

Bonny River, NB - Effective immediately, Joe Stevens has joined the Hockey Voice as the hockey insider. Stevens brings several years of hockey experience and expertise and should bolster the publication's wide coverage of hockey and non-hockey topics.

Stevens met with reporters late Tuesday and offered, "I am flattered that I have been selected for this post. Ever since I first saw the Hockey Voice, I hoped that one day I'd be in it and that has happened. Now, to become a member of the staff, I'm happier than a pig in the tank of Hannan's Septic Service."

Stevens assumes the role formerly held by Geoff Cunningham, who will remain with the Hockey Voice as the Head Psychic.

Stevens "Alarmed" But Not Afraid of Ganong's "Gang"

Joe Stevens Just Minutes After Learning of St. Stephen Gang

Bonny River, NB - Joe Stevens noted that, "Nick Ganong really has to cool it on that gang stuff. Does he not read the Hockey Voice and know that I had a gang going in Bonny River that would roll over them like a dead porcupine on King St. in Pilltown? Yeah, I'm a little alarmed, but certainly not afraid of anything coming from that area."

Bike Gang Hits St. Stephen

Nick Ganong Part of Gang?

St. Stephen, NB - Rumours of a huge bike gang hitting the Border Town have surfaced and Nick Ganong's name has been linked. According to reports, Ganong formed the gang after several threatening confrontations with old foe Joe Stevens. Ganong would not confirm the report, but the Hockey Voice captured him in the Wall Region of the Town recently bombing around on a new bike.

Walsh Continues to Push His Club

Walsh says, "Innovation at its Best"

Ratz Take Part in Charity Event

Chris Richardson Comes Down Hard on Joe Stevens

New York, NY - The Bonny River Ratz were part of a celebrity basketball tournament that took place in New York over the weekend. Team captain Joe Stevens said, "This is a great event. The organizers, Husband Beaters Anonymous, flew us all in for this. Phil Collins was here and all of us to give you some scope of the celebrities that were here. I think Richardson needs to settle down a bit though. Jumping around like a kangaroo on crack."

Hockey Voice Urges Everybody to Stop and Think

Walsh Visits with American Friends for July 4th Weekend

Matty Walsh Shows off New Outfit While Partying Hard

Joe Walsh Releases New Gun Rules

Urban Hunting Enthusiast Joe Walsh

Toronto, Ontario, Canada - Joe Walsh felt "it was time" to put out gun rules that people can understand and live with. Walsh noted, "These are the regulations we have in place in Toronto or at least the ones I go by. They are self-explanatory. I am probably the foremost expert as far as hunting goes in the city. You really have to pick your spots to get the guns out. It's not like back home where the cops don't drive around looking for people toting firearms. Man, if I walked out of my apartment today with a gun in my hand, either the cops would hassle me or some idiot would call the cops. That's' what I'm dealing with ALL the time. I wear orange and I'm really careful about my treestands and stuff, and still they are on me all the time."

Eerie Voice Mail Message Has Voice Staff Stumped

Matty Walsh

Chris Richardson

Head Psychic Geoff Cunningham

Bonny River, NB - Members of the Hockey Voice staff are scratching thier heads this morning after receiving a voice mail message from an unknown caller. The caller says that they have obtained tickets to go watch the Habs win their 25th Cup next June and to make sure "you book time off." Also includes an invitation to watch the Cup Parade.

Geoff Cunningham, the Voice's head psychic, says, "This is obviously somebody in the know as far as the supernatural world goes. I consulted my spirits last night and it appears that the Canadiens will win the Stanley Cup next year. The whole thing caught me off guard, but it is very factual."

Chris Richardson noted, "I listened to the message and thought the person was on drugs and immediately turned it over to the cops. I do believe the Habs will win the Cup though."

Matty Walsh said, "I couldn't get to sleep after hearing that message. I am pumped now though. Whoever the person is will come out next spring when we all go to Montreal to watch the Cup Parade. I already booked two weeks off in late May and early June just to be sure."

Cunningham Proposes Fund Raiser

Geoff Cunningham and New Trick

FIHL Holds Canada Day Party

Joe Stevens Picks up Empties Outside

Greg "Crusty" Justason, Pudge and Joe Stevens and Smoky the Horse

Bonny River, NB - Many of the Bonny River Ratz and others turned out for the Canada Day bash at the Ratz Headquarters. Organizer Joe Stevens said, "We hope to make this an annual thing. Pudge was here fresh from his big win at the FIHL Awards banquet. He won most shots taken and most blocked shots again. The horse thing was a little crazy, but it just goes to show that humans aren't the only people that like to party. Everybody loves Canada."

Joe Walsh Under Fire at Hockey Voice

Joe Walsh Sports Offensive T Shirt

Toronto, Ontario, Canada - Joe Walsh's day as Entertainment Critic for the Hockey Voice may be numbered. When a photo surfaced of Walsh in a very offensive T shirt, the management was quick to act. Chris Richardson said, "This stuff is not what the Voice is all about. It just sends the wrong message. We will be making a decision on Walsh's future soon."

Even brother Matty Walsh spoke out about it. He noted, "If that's the type of thing that flies in Toronto, I certainly don't want any part of that. Even I was offended and that's saying a lot."

Ganong Tackles Lions, Issues Warning to Stevens

Nick Ganong with "Harry"

St. Stephen, NB - A lot can be said about Nick Ganong, but not many people are doubting his courage these days. The Hockey Voice visited the journeyman goaltender recently and he showed off his pet lion, Harry. Ganong said, "When I was confronted by Joe Stevens, at first I thought he was joking. I soon realized that he wanted to dance a little. Really? That guy plays with a big fat bunny? He's a friggin' joke."

Joe Stevens with Giant Bunny

Walsh Upset of Partying Ways of Groom and Harris

Jamie Harris and Greg Groom Party Saturday

Blacks Harbour, NB - A very distraught Matty Walsh met with reporters Sunday. He said, "We won a ball hockey tournament a week or so ago and Groom and Harris are acting like it was today. Harris has lost so much weight, you wouldn't know it was him. I'm sick of it and it had better slow down pretty soon."

McGrattan Reacts Swiftly to Stevens' Aggression

Jason McGrattan at the Beach Sunday

St. George, NB - Jason McGrattan was greeted late Sunday by a mob of reporters looking for comment on the Joe Stevens-Nick Ganong controversy. McGrattan said, "I heard about it and I'm not happy about it. Geez, it's late June and this stuff is still going on? I'm definitely not burying my head in the sand and pretending it's not happening. We're thinking of sending some boys to Bonny River to talk this thing out."

Ganong "Not Afraid' of Threats from Stevens

Joe Stevens Threatens Physical Harm to Nick Ganong

St. Stephen, NB - Nick Ganong met briefly with the usual throng of reporters Monday morning. Ganong reacted to the Hockey Voice report of he and Joe Stevens engaging in a conflict over the weekend. Ganong said, "This is the same old stuff with Stevens. He's been doing that crap for years and I'm not afraid. I have passed this along to league officials and it will be dealt with appropriately I assume."

Vintage Picture Captures Ratz Teammates in their Prime

Joe Stevens and Greg "Crusty" Justason

Celebration Ongoing with Victorious Ball Hockey Team

Scott Matheson, Chris Hoffman and John Jay Mix it Up with Unidentified Ball Hockey Fans

Walsh Announces "Name My Club" Contest

Matty Walsh in Grand Opening Costume

Blacks Harbour, NB - Matty Walsh has announced a contest whereby he is going to let the customers name his club.

He noted, "I was gonna call it CH's but decided against it. I've kinda got my outfit all made up so if somebody can come up with something that has C and H in it, I'd be happy to use it. The winner may win an all expenses trip to Bonny River, go on a 4 wheeler ride, and get to sit in a real life treestand. Stay tuned."

Hockey Voice Staff Party a Big Success

Chris Richardson, Matty Walsh and Joe Walsh Pose for Photo

Bonny River, NB - Hockey Voice VP Chris Richardson met with reporters Thursday morning after the award winning publication had just had a big brain-storming session the night before.

He noted, "We find that getting together allows us to focus on the big issues and make sure we are all on the same page. If we want to stay on top, we have to have our wits about us. Right now, our readership is at an all-time high."

Stevens Shows Off New Physique and Sends Message

Joe Stevens at Ratz Headquarters on Wednesday

Bonny River, NB - If the new tattoos are any indication, it appears Joe Stevens is looking for a new tougher and meaner image. The Ratz hired a firm that specializes in image building and recommended this to Stevens. Stevens noted, "This is the same company Matty Walsh and the boys use and look at how tough they appear to be. By the way, I'm ready to go if anybody wants to stop by for a couple minutes."

Walsh Announces Strippers at Club, Legal Issues May Shut it Down

Matty Walsh (C) with Alleged Strippers for his New Club

Hyslop Says "I'll be Ready for Puck Drop This Fall"

JJ Hyslop Ruins a Pair of Jeans But Makes His Point

Walsh Offers Package Deal for $32.00

Blacks Harbour, NB - In an effort to generate revenue for his new club, Matty Walsh has come up with a package deal that will probably increase the interest. Walsh met with reporters briefly and noted, "I want to let everybody know I'm serious. I am not going away. This club thing will go ahead as planned. I'm just a little short on bucks right now."

If you've ever run over somebody's pet, take a look at this......

Friends Warn Cunningham About Steroids

Latest Picture has Cunningham's Friends Worried about his Health

Matty Walsh: "My Brother is Nothing but a Show off!

Joe Walsh Does Magic Trick in Toronto on Saturday Night

Haris Issues Warning

Stevens Fails in Tour de France Bid

Joe Stevens Just Outside Paris

Weatherby "Regrets" Tattoo Incident

Ryan Weatherby says his tattoo was supposed to say "Have Fun with the Police"

McGrattan to Appear in New Coca Cola Ads

Jason McGrattan in Front of New Ads to Hit Stores Soon

Old Beer Ad Still Holds True Today

Walsh Gives Thumbs up for Both New Charlotte County Flicks

Two New Action Thrillers on the Way this Summer

Geoff Cunningham is Captain Enema

Greg Groom is the Blue Bunny

Hockey Voice Entertainment Critic Joe Walsh

Toronto, Ontario, Canada - I've been busy but I can always make time when Charlotte County's film makers come out with new movies like the ones I'm reviewing this week. It's balls to the wall action with plenty of great acting. Somebody must have heard me say, "Turn down the suck, turn up the good!"

Captain Enema

It starts a little slow, but Cunningham, despite the title, shows the bad guys he's taking no shit from them. The movie is hilarious in parts especially with Cunny's great delivery. There's the scene where his friend dies playing checkers. He told the guy KING ME, but he must have not heard him correctly and subsequently was killed. Cunningham is then called in to investigate. There's plenty of cameo appearances by some of Charlotte County's biggest stars. My brother Matty Walsh plays himself, the hard-working, energetic, clean living hockey player who is out to fight evil in the underworld of Charlotte County. This one has two thumbs up; all the way up!

Blue Bunny

Greg Groom plays a crime fighting superhero called the Blue Bunny. It is a playful flick that is sure to be in for a Golden Partridge Award next year. Groom lives in a hole in the forest and comes out at night to take on the bad guys. He almost becomes road kill, but his fast reflexes saved him. The premise may seem a bit silly, but this one had more than one tear coming out of this reviewer's eyeballs. Groom shows off his great acting skills and doesn't rely heavily on a supporting cast. I'm giving this one two lucky rabbit feet up!

Old Gang Photo Causes Stir

New Product a Definite Requirement for all Smokers

Boudreau Shows off New Tattoo at Ball Hockey Tournament

Larry Boudreau and the Beautiful tattoo

Vintage Photo of Jamie Harris Surfaces

Jamie Harris as the Nintendo Super Hero

Stevens Upset with Cat People

Sign Outside Ratz Headquarters in Bonny River

Bonny River, NB - Joe Stevens said he's had just about enough of people dropping off cats at Bonny River Ratz Headquarters on the city's main drag. In fact, things have become so bad, the word "SHERIFF" is being used in his latest sign. Stevens said, "I don't like to bother Sheriff Johnny Borthwick about the little stuff but sometimes you just use that name to scare people."

Stevens Upset with Cat People

Health Inspectors Have Issues with Walsh's "New Club"

Sign on the Back Doors of the "Club"

Uni-Sex Washroom at the "Club"

Blacks Harbour, NB - Matty Walsh said he just wanted to "run a legit business," and now the government has stepped in and made it virtually impossible to move forward with his plan.

Walsh said,"The regulations for this type of business are outrageous. I have to have men and women's washrooms? I had a uni-sex one set up out back that was temporary. I put up a sign to warn people not to block my fire exits and they have a problem with that. My hands are tied boys. It's a shame because this place would be rocking. I got Juggy's band all booked. They learned some English songs and sound really good. It ain't over yet boys."

Walsh Announces Drink Specials at "The Club"

McGrattan to Release New French Polka Rap Album

Jason McGrattan and his Band

Stevens Issues Warning to Would Be Robbers

Joe Stevens Poses with Gun, Rocking Shorts and Home Made Sign

Cunningham Plays Down Hockey Voice Photo

Joe Stevens, Geoff Cunningham and Greg Groom with Unnamed Lady

Blacks Harbour, NB - Geoff Cunningham said he was "boiling mad" when he heard the Hockey Voice was publishing a photo of ball hockey players with a hot looking lady.

Cunningham noted, "There was nothing going on. Sure she was hot, but we don't need this crap in the Hockey Voice. The Hockey Voice was supposed to take a few pictures and a little write up, but it appears it is only interested in doing doing dirt. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I can't speak for Groom or Stevens."

Walsh: "I grew a lot as a person this past weekend"

Hoffman and Matheson Team up in New Business Venture

Chris Hoffman and Scott Matheson now giving out FREE Advice

No appointments necessary!

Harris Copes with Dust at Tourney

Hoffman Lands the Big One!

Chris Hoffman Shows off Big Fish from the Weekend (Nice outfit)

Stevens: "Cunny's Tournament Had Plenty of Balls"

The quote of the weekend goes to Matty Walsh -

"With Jeremy Mahar, Greg Hooper and Jamie Harris here, I'd say we have a ton of goaltending!"

All-time greats Jamie Harris and Larry Boudreau share a moment during Sunday's action

Greg Hooper heats up between the pipes on Saturday
Cunningham tries to buy off officials to no avail

Joe Stevens Offers Last Minute Instructions to Jamie Ross
Team Cunny - Brad Stuart, Greg Hooper, Geoff Cunningham, Josh Cook, Matt Moorehouse
Jason McGrattan takes a much deserved break
Youth Division Champs - Chris Hawkins, Brandon Mattie, Blake Johnson, Mike Greenlaw, Brad Matser (kneeling)
St. Stephen Boys - Ryan McGregor, Jeff Penny, Ryan Weatherby, Don Theriault, Bill Booth
Joe Stevens Threatens Geoff Cunningham with Stick

Silverkings' "Fourth Line" Grabs Ball Hockey Championship

L to R - Matty Walsh, Greg Groom, Jamie Harris, Chris Hoffman, Scott Matheson

Blacks Harbour, NB - Ball Hockey organizer Geoff Cunningham didn't mince any words when describing the champs on Sunday. Cunningham noted, "Basically, what we have here is the Silverkings fourth line. I'm not trashing them, I'm just saying. Like Shakespeare said if you can't handle the truth, get out of the kitchen, man."

Meanwhile, captain of the champs Matty Walsh noted, "Who is this Shakespeare guy he's always quoting? Is he gonna listen to me or listen to his friends? We had a great time this weekend but right now, I feel like a skidder has ran me over."

Cunningham "Frustrated" with Ratz Deal

Cunningham's "Hands are Tied"

Cunningham Confirms Ratz Will Be at Ball Hockey Tournament

Joe Stevens "Down in the Dumps"

Geoff Cunningham at Hockey Voice Press Conference

Blacks Harbour, NB - In what Geoff Cunningham terms as "a very significant positive jolt of credibility" it was announced today that several of the Bonny River Ratz will be in attendance this coming weekend at the Fundy Arena for the big ball hockey tournament.

Cunningham added, "I have confirmation that superstars Mark Taylor and Joe Stevens will be on hand along with special guests. They will be made available to the public at some point in time for a meet and greet. Their handlers aren't giving me much more detail than that and I apologize for that. People have to remember these are the RATZ for crying out loud. They will be signing sticks and shirts and some pictures will be allowed. I haven't heard of anything about a supposed list of approved photographers. I think that's something that perhaps Josh Bagley or Matty Walsh started. These guys are extremely jealous individuals and really have to get over it."

Hooper and Walsh Show Up Together at Kingfishers Headquarters

Chiller Gets New Tats

Twisters Get New Sponsor

Cunningham Announces Schedule for Ball Hockey Championship

Geoff Cunningham

Blacks Harbour, NB - Geoff Cunningham released the scheduling for the upcoming Ball Hockey Championships to be held at the Fundy Arena June 12-24, 2009. Entry Fee is $125 per team to be paid ASAP.

Cunningham noted, "First off, fair, clean play is of the utmost importance to make sure this tournament is a success and we will be able to do this for years to come. Rough play WILL result in your team being suspended from the tournament and any future tournaments. No exceptions. I don't care who you are."

"Here are the divisions and schedules below. It looks like an awesome format!"

Format: Adult divisions play a round robin within their division. The top 2 teams from each division advance to the playoffs Sunday for the right to playoff for the Silver King Cup. The top 2 teams overall will get byes to the semi finals while the remaining 4 teams will meet in the quarter finals. The bottom two teams from each division will be done play Saturday evening.

The Youth Division will also play a round robin within their division with all 4 teams advancing to the playoffs Sunday for the right to play for their own Silverking Cup. 1st place will play 4th, 2nd place will play third place, with the two winners meeting in the Championship game Sunday at 1:45.

Adult Divisions

Gretzky Division

1. Team Walsh
2. Team Boone
3. Team Stevens
4. Team Clark

Lemieux Division

1. Team Cunny
2. Team Lomax
3. Team Weatherby
4. Team Bourque

Crosby Division

1. Team Mahar
2. Team Bent
3. Team Hall
4. Team McKillop

Youth Division

Ovechkin Division

1. Team Ritchie
2. Team Anthony
3. Team Barrett
4. Team Greenlaw

Schedule

Saturday 13th:

9:00 Rink 1 Ritchie vs Barrett Rink #2 Anthony vs Greenlaw

10:00 Rink 1 Cunny vs Weatherby Rink #2 Lomax vs Bourque

11:00 Rink 1 Walsh vs Clark Rink #2 Stevens vs Boone

12:00 Rink 1 Mahar vs McKillop Rink #2 Bent vs Hall

1:00 Rink 1 Greenlaw vs Ritchie Rink #2 Barrett vs Anthony

2:00 Rink 1 Bourque vs Cunny Rink #2 Lomax vs Weatherby

3:00 Rink 1 Clark vs Boone Rink #2 Stevens vs Walsh

4:00 Rink 1 Bent vs McKillop Rink #2 Mahar vs Hall

5:00 Rink 1 Anthony vs Ritchie Rink #2 Greenlaw vs Barrett

6:00 Rink 1 Bourque vs Weatherby Rink #2 Lomax vs Cunny

7:00 Rink 1 Boone vs Walsh Rink #2 Clark vs Stevens

8:00 Rink 1 Bent vs Mahar Rink #2 McKillop vs Hall

Sunday 14th

10:00 Rink 1 Adult Quarter Final #1 Rink #2 Adult Quarter Final #2

11:00 Rink 1 Youth Semi-Final 1st vs 4th Rink #2 Youth Semi-Final 2nd vs 4th

12:00 Rink 1 Adult Semi-Final 1st vs 4th

1:00 Rink 1 Adult Semi-Final 2nd vs 3rd

2:00 Rink 1 Youth World Championship Final

3:00 Rink 1 Adult World Championship Final

Walsh Unveils New Undies

Matty Walsh with Horsey Undies

Blacks Harbour, NB - Matty Walsh says this idea came to him a dream like so many do. Walsh has developed shorts that resemble a horse's head. Walsh noted, "Even if you're not hung like a horse, you can feel like one and that's the big attraction. Guys that want to excite the ladies should get a pair of these babies."

Richardson Gives Approval for Stevens Purchase

Chris Richardson Shows off New Shirt

Bonny River, NB - Chris Richardson left Bonny River Ratz headquarters on Sunday and voiced his opinion over the news that the Ratz will go back to Bonny River ownership.

Richardson noted, "It's not that I didn't enjoy playing for European ownership, I just think that a team like this should have its strings pulled from somebody with their finger on the pulse. That person is Joe Stevens. I haven't met the other members of Joe's group, but I hear they are happy go lucky and that's a big thing for me. Here comes success."

Stevens Looks to Take Back Ratz

Joe Stevens Meets with Press on Sunday

Bonny River, NB - Joe Stevens says that if he has his way, the Bonny River Ratz will not be falling into the hands of a "bunch of foreigners." Stevens was commenting about the series of stories circulating about Geoff Cunningham, Mike Gould a group of other Pennfield millionaires who were looking to buy the storied franchise and possibly move it.

Stevens noted, "Me and a bunch of farmers from Bonny River have made a formal bid and it should be enough. Let's just say there ain't gonna be no Pennfield Ratz in the FIHL this year. We are committed to having hockey in Bonny River for a number of years. Them two don't their asses from their elbows. Every time they go to have a dump, they roll up their sleeves."

Hockey Voice Editor Attends NB Sports Hall of Fame Dinner

Members of the 1972-73 Saint John Mooseheads Hardy Cup Winners

Malcolm Wickens, Dave Nicholson, Doug Britton, Earl Rice, Gary Marsh and Wayne Johnson

Saint John, NB - The editor of the Hockey Voice Mark Taylor attended the 40th Annual NB Sports Hall of Fame Dinner in Saint John Saturday night. The above photo shows just a top notch bunch of guys that were seated with Taylor. They were on the 1972-73 Hardy Cup Champs Saint John Mooseheads. They were inducted in 2008.

Taylor was on hand to represent the Saint Croix Courier and to do a story on St. Stephen native Don Sweeney who was being inducted into the Hall. The full story will appear in Tuesday's regular Courier edition.

Moffitt Cutting Back, Says he Wants to be in Best Shape Yet

Andrew Moffitt Having His One Glass of Wine a Day

Bonny River, NB - In a move that he hopes will pay off next season Ratz star Andrew Moffitt has imposed a one drink maximum upon himself. He noted, "I looked around the room last season and the boys are all in tip top shape and aren't abusing their bodies with booze and drugs. I thought that I would follow their lead and cut back to one drink a day maximum. I want to be in the best shape yet when the puck drops this fall."

Is Cunningham Out of Control? Latest Photo Says "Yes"

Hockey Voice Head Psychic and Hockey Insider Geoff Cunningham Relaxes

Walsh Announces Grand Opening of his Club

Front Entrance to the "Club"
Back Entrance to the "Club"

Blacks Harbour, NB - Matty Walsh announced Wednesday that he is opening a new club in Backs Harbour called the "Club." Walsh said, "I got the idea one night when I was listening to my saddle dish radio and they played a song by the Band. I thought that a place called the Club would be nice. Ain't no flies on this cat. I got Reno and a few of the boys that said they'd come in and hang around and not charge me anything for it so I'll save on wages. I'm really excited. I have a place to park your bicycles, four wheelers or anything you drive out back."

Bagley Has Fans Everywhere

Blacks Harbour, NB - It's not very often that an official has a lot of fans but FIHL Chief Official Josh Bagley has many it seems. The Hockey Voice captured a chap who appeared to be a bit sleepy but was not shy in his admiration of the big ref. Bagley said he was "touched" by the fan's support.

Mahar Upset Over "Lack of Action" by Kingfishers

Jeremy Mahar Leaving Kingfishers' Headquarters

Blacks Harbour, NB - Jeremy Mahar said that he's not a sore loser, but doesn't like losing. The big forward was asked what his thoughts were on the Kingfishers off season moves to date. He noted, "What moves? The season is about six months away and Walsh hasn't done a thing. He now knows where I stand. I just told him what I thought. I realize that we ain't gonna get Taylor or somebody like that, but at least show you care."

Joe Walsh Entering Tough Guy Contest in Toronto

Joe Walsh Shows Off Outfit

Toronto, Ontario, Canada - Hockey Voice Entertainment critic Joe Walsh announced Tuesday that he will be in the 2009 Greater Toronto Tough Guy Contest.

Walsh noted, "I've got quite a resume really. I have played for the Bonny River Ratz. I used to pound on my little brother, not that it's anything to brag about, but it gave me some practise. "

Hockey Voice Editor Lands Gig at New Brunswick Hall of Fame Ceremony

Hockey Voice Editor Mark Taylor

Bonny River, NB - The 40th Annual New Brunswick hall of Fame ceremony will be held June 6 in Saint John and Hockey Voice Editor Mark Taylor will be in attendance. Taylor will be a part of the media crowd and representing the Saint Croix Courier at the ceremony.

The inductees this year are former Olympic speed skater Stephen Gough of Fredericton; former senior hockey player Frankie LeBlanc, who died in 1942; former Olympic softball player Vicky LeBlanc of Notre Dame; former multi-sport builder Dr. John Meagher of Fredericton, who died in 2008; former NHL defenceman Don Sweeney of St. Stephen and former badminton administrator; and organizer Lorne Wortman of Moncton.

Taylor also expects to have a full report for the Hockey Voice with pictures and stuff, eh?

Twisters Put Up Signs to Warn People About Guns

New Sign in St. Stephen, NB

XXX Announce Fund Raiser - Male Undie Repair Kit

Jason McGrattan at Press Conference

Men's Underwear Repair Kit

St. George, NB - Jason McGrattan and Scott Matheson unveiled a fund raiser that will hopefully allow them to sign some free agents in the off season and nab their first FIHL Championship next season.

McGrattan said, "Any guy out there who has suffered because of unsightly skid marks or rips or tears, then this is the product for you. They cost only 10 bucks and really, what's 10 bucks when you can look fresh and hot? Scott and I both use this product and it's unbelievable. Plus, how many times have you placed a banana in your shorts only to have it fall out at inopportune time. The elastics and stuff will keep everything in place and keep you looking nice for sure."

Ratz Management "Speaks to Stevens About his Physique"

Ratz Captain Joe Stevens in a Recent Photo

Bonny River, NB - An unnamed source reportedly close to the Bonny River Ratz has stated that "Joe Stevens' current physical state is of grave concern to the team." The report surfaced late Tuesday night after a revealing photo of Stevens surfaced. The photo (above) shows a very hefty Stevens in a skimpy bathing suit.

Stevens noted, "I don't know what the problem is. It's not like we're playing this Sunday. I'll be back in shape by moose season. I will admit I've added a couple pounds here and there, but I'm receiving a lot of compliments on the old package."

Walsh Asks for Public's Help

Harris Says "I Feel Young Again!"

Cunningham Announces his Intentions to the World

Museum Opens in St. Stephen

Hockey Voice Announces New Sponsor

" "Serve Cold or Also Available in Warm"

FIHL Announces New Program

Stevens to Appear on Dancing with the Stars

Joe Stevens (Right) with unidentified lady

Bonny River, NB - Joe Stevens has announced that he will appear on the hit show Dancing with the Stars. Stevens will take his famous bubble wrap outfit to Hollywood and try his luck at the title.

He noted, "I have become known for that bubble wrap outfit and I want the fans I will not disappoint them. It will be going to Hollywood with me. I want to thank Johnny Borthwick and others for showing me all those dance moves all those years. Peace."

Pudge's Cat Being Tested - Cunningham's Dogs Added to Probe

Geoff Cunningham's Dogs Under Investigation as well

Pudge Lee Holds Smokey the Cat

Bonny River, NB - Pudge Lee's picture with a horrified cat has prompted the FIHL to launch an investigation into whether the feline was on some of performance enhancing drug at the time.

League officials have refused further comment but did want to stress that Pudge is not a part of the investigation.

Pudge Lee is the reigning shot blocker in the FIHL and is widely renowned for the accuracy of his slapper.

Scammell Shows Off New Wheels and Lady

Eric Scammell with new ride and unnamed lady in back

Pudge Makes Public Apology

"I Can't Help it, I just can't help it!" - Pudge Lee

Chambers Discovers New Band

Chad Chambers (Background) with lead singer of "Super Somethings"

Joe Walsh and Jamie Harris Rock on Stage to Super Somethings

Moffitt and Richardson Head Up St. Stephen Bike Gang

Chris Richardson (Back) and Andrew Moffitt (Front)

Joe Walsh Back from Fact Finding Mission

Joe Walsh Returns from Hunting Trade Show

Stevens Narrowly Escapes Arrest at Protest

Police Attempt to Arrest Joe Stevens at Mud Run Protest Last Weekend

Ratz Announce New Mascot

Bonny River Ratz Mascot "Rootie the Rat"

Harris Sends in Family Reunion Photo

Jamie Harris (Middle) and Family at High School Graduation Party

Stevens Meets Beauty Queen

Joe Stevens Takes a Peek at Miss Phuket

Walsh Opens up New Business Venture

The Dr. Phil of Charlotte County Opens Up Shop

Looking for good "Yo momma" Jokes

If you have any good Yo momma jokes, send them along. Here is an example of what we're looking for.

• Yo momma is so old Moses was in her yearbook.
• Yo momma is so old there wasn't any history class when she went to school.
• Yo momma is so poor that when I saw her kicking can and I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Moving."