The Hockey Voice : February 2018

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Frost, King & Dewar on HNIC Yields Magazine Coverage

McShane Appears in Local Paper in "Serious Shit" Section After HNIC Appearance

McKay "Beefing Up" For Playoffs

Hanley Announces "All Out War" on Coyotes

Canadiens Welcome Hockey Night in Canada Wednesday Night

(Defenseman Pat Sharkey unavailable)

Randy Hanley

Pat McShane

Leigh Mitchell

Keaton McKay

Jason Frost

Brandon King

Tyson Dewar

Jim Buchanan

Greg Justason

Mark Taylor

Jamie Earle

Friday, February 16, 2018

Wayne from Letterkenny Tells it Like Shit is

Hockey Voice Conducts Poll for Round 1 of Original 6 Playoffs

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Original 6 League Officials Quiet on a Player's Ex on Cover of Esquire

Bonny River Ratz 2010 Big Show Negotiating with Tourney Official

Being Told Off!!!!!

Buchanan Top Dog in Trump's Eyes

Rumours Swirl About Taylor Suiting up for Germans in Olympics

Which One is Ryan Weatherby and Which One is Steve Ott?

Buchanan on Cover of February Edition of Vogue

Turtle Crossing in Bonny River on Putin's Radar

Hockey Voice Exclusive: Wolf Caught on Camera in Bonny River

Nobody is commenting on this but it appears that wolves are alive and well in Bonny River. An unidentified photographer has captured images of the hairy critter in the New Road area. No further information was available at press time.

Stevens Releasing New Album on Vinyl

Bonny River, NB - World-famous rap artist Joe Stevens is releasing a new album on vinyl which is scheduled for February 14. Stevens brings in guys like Jimmy Bee and CC Big Man to help keep the beat going, Get this one for your honey on Van Halen Times Days.

This is how to handle those idiots who call to offer you unsolicited help with your credit card debt.

You might be from Charlotte County if......

1. You wear jogging pants and you have never gone and have no intention of going jogging.

2. You have barbecued baloney.

3. Your marriage proposal includes “You’re gonna have a what?”

4. You have picked up some beer on the way to work.

5. You have pictures of yourself beside giant weed plants.

6. Your wedding picture has a stick of tips in the background.

7. Your first words when you come out of a coma are, “Did I miss hunting season?”

8. You have ever used your kids swing set to pull the engine out of your vehicle.

9. The centerpiece on your lawn used to get 30 miles to the gallon.

10. You can’t find your lawnmower.

11. You have ever said “The war is on!” after you find out somebody is using your treestand.

12. You have ever complained about how dirty your white socks get when you wear sandals.

13. You have ever said, “Want a hit off that thing, Mom?”

14. You buy beer to expand your summer wardrobe with hats and shirts.

15. You refuse to slide in softball because you don’t want to crush your smokes.

16. You have a road sign under your wood stove.

17. You’ve watched the Stanley Cup playoffs in your underwear.

18. Your discarded freezer now holds your garbage.

19. You’ve worn a beer T shirt to a parent-teacher interview.

20. You know all the cast on the Trailer Park Boys, but don’t know your local MP or MLA.

21. You have ever checked your oil at a funeral.

22. You’ve thrown a party just to get the empties.

23. You have to get work done to your “rigging” and everybody knows you’re not going to a mechanic.

24. You cried the day your son/daughter first got served at the liquor store.

25. You’re paying higher payments on your 4 wheeler than your engagement ring.

26. You’re saving your beer bottles to buy a 4 wheeler.

27. You’ve ever been in a “racket” over booking vacation time for moose or deer season.

28. You check the Court News to see if any of your hockey, softball, darts, or crib teammates is going for a “trip.”

29. You have put an ad in the paper telling people to return shit that you have had stolen from you.

30. You use an abandoned or broken down in your yard car as lawn furniture.

31. You have ever paid a bill with beer and/or weed.

32. You have ever said “I got one of them home,” if somebody asks you it you want a bag.

33. You have ever told somebody they had “nice looking pigs and/or nice looking firewood.”

34. You’ve ever poked the old man in the mouth at Christmas for “being a prick.”

35. You wouldn’t go to a party because “All’s gonna be there is a buncha dinks.”

36. The brewery laid off a shift when your Dad died.

37. The entertainment at your wedding was a boom box.

38. You broke a toe when your belt buckle hit it.

39. You’ve muted your TV before farting.

40. You’ve had to move a baby seat to make love.

41. You bought dinner at a pet shop.

42. Your cheques feature pictures of dogs fighting.

43. Your pen pal is a guy you “did weekends with.”

44. You’re banned from all your son’s sporting events.

45. Making your bed disturbs at least three animals.

46. The dentist tells you both your teeth have cavities.

47. You’ve missed more than a week’s work with heartburn.

48. You whistle at women at a funeral.

49. You’ve switched over to beer to sober up a bit.

50. You’ve put a sign “No more toking” inside your house.

51. You answered your cellphone at a wedding.

52. Going for a drive involves “catching ‘er in gear.”

53. You have no idea how many pets you have.

54. Your snowshoes are actually tennis rackets.

55. You’ve ever sang at a pet’s funeral.

56. If “playing caps with friends” is mentioned in your obituary.

57. If you’ve ever put .22 shells in a woodstove to liven things up at a camp.

58. If you've ever put in your Moneysaver or Courier ad "Good for a camp."

The Hockey Voice