Monday, August 31, 2009

Experts Weigh in on NHL Predictions

Chris Richardson Gives Thumbs up to Habs as well
Joe Stevens says "The smart money is on the Habs"

Kyle Leslie Gives Thunbs up to Habs, Thumbs Down to Leafs


Cunny's Crystal Ball has Habs taking it all



Brock Chambers says "he likes the Habs chances"










Friday, August 28, 2009

McGrattan Entertains Kitty

Jason McGrattan Photographed on Summer Vacation

McFarlane and Stevens meet to go over new deal

Jason McFarlane and Joe Stevens (Background) go to Meeting

Chambers; "It's More Fun to Give than Receive!"


Matheson Sends Matty Walsh a Message

Scott Matheson reacts to Walsh's recommendation of kicking him out of the FIHL

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Cunningham's Sends in his First Wedding Picture

Mr. and Mrs. Geoff Cunningham with Maid of Honour and Best Man Jamie Harris



Kingfishers "Tired" of Waiting

Greg Groom, Matty Walsh and Jamie Harris

Blacks Harbour, NB - The long off season is starting to take its toll on the Fundy Kingfishers. The two time FIHL champs were dethroned last spring by the Blacks Harbour Timberwolves and they are looking for revenge. During a recent team meeting, team manager Matty Walsh noted, "We have been waiting long enough and it's time to get the league rolling. A lot has been said and most of it 110 bullshit, especially some of the things Dugas and others have said. It is true the Bonny River Ratz are the odds on favourites right now to take it all, but the fat lady hasn't even got up to the podium yet, man. Stay tuned."

Walsh: "Hoffman is a real life life Iron Man!"

Chris Hoffman - Iron Man

Matheson Teaches Cat one of his Famous Tricks

St. George Astronaut Scott Matheson
Matheson's Cat Fluffy prepares for take off


Minutes from FIHL General Annual Meeting

FIHL General Annual Meeting
August 26, 2009
Fundy Arena

Attendees:

Mark Taylor Jamie Harris Tom Van Wagoner
Scott Matheson Chris Blackier Jason McGrattan
Mike MacQuarrie Bill Taylor Josh Bagley
Dan Levesque

Regrets:
Matty Walsh Justin Sweeney

Agenda

Wayne Barrett patches – it was unanimously agreed upon that all FIHL players and officials wear a patch commemorating former player and friend Wayne Barrett who passed away earlier this summer.
League Finances – the league is currently carrying a surplus of approximately $2,500 - $3,000 and it was agreed that dues remain the same or nearly the same to at least maintain this. The dues for 2008-2009 were $4,200 per team.
Playoff format – it was agreed that the status quo be kept. The subject of round robin was introduced but it was felt that although this would keep teams in play longer, it did nothing to reward regular season success. The one change requested was that the Twisters play their home games in St. Andrews as they will be charged for ice rental whether you use it or not. This was agreed to unanimously.
Barrett Big Show – this would be a tournament played a week or two after the FIHL championship is played and would involve all teams. No firm dates or rules were ironed out but it was believed that this would allow eliminated teams to get back on the ice one last time and to honour Wayne’s memory and have fun like we all know he would want us to do. The cost of this tournament will be separate from the regular dues collected from each team.
30 second time out – each team will be allowed to call ONE 30 second time out on any desired stoppage of play in every game.
League Board – it was agreed that Mike MacQuarrie and two other members would comprise a board that would deal with discipline and other issues that evolve during the season. This will allow an impartial party to examine the issues and make unbiased decisions. All rulings are final.
Schedule changes – no changes needed with the possible exception of a week where the Twisters do not play, the NBCC team could play in their ice time Thursday at 8:30 instead of Monday at 10 (IF both ice times remain the same.)
Rosters and player eligibility – FINAL rosters to be submitted to the board no later than January 7, 2010.
Referees – due to a very thin referee squad, all teams are required to have at least two referees on each team. This would be in addition to the refs outside the FIHL rosters. Any interested parties should participate in an official’s workshop which is forthcoming. Times and dates will be made available as soon as possible.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Walsh Promises "Bone Hammers" in 2009-2010 Season

Sign on the Outside of Kingfishers Headquarters

Blacks Harbour, NB - The sign hung outside the Fundy Kingfishers head office says it all. According to the person who hung it, Matty Walsh, it will be the rule instead of the exception coming season. Walsh added, "I will be throwing the bone hammers around this season. I have had it with the boys all bitching and complaining. If you want to talk, give Dr. Phil a call. If you want to chuck the knuckles, give me a call. Pure and simple."


Ratz Show off Work Out Routine

Joe Stevens - "Early Bird may get the worm, but the second Rat gets the cheese"

Dugas Has Rare Photo

A real life Rat drinking wine out of a Cup

Blacks Harbour, NB - Timberwolves goaltender Andrew Dugas says he has found a rare photo and wanted to share it with Hockey Voice readers. Dugas said, "I see where Taylor was collecting rare pictures. I found one of an actual Rat drinking out of a big cup. That's the only way you'll ever see that one, boys. Ain't gonna be no Ratz around this area drinking out of a Cup unless we give them a swig out of it."


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Richardson Turns Down Ratz Latest Offer

Chris Richardson shows his displeasure of latest contract offer

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Walsh Boys Stick Together at Bike Race

Matty Walsh Holds up Banner while his brother Joe Takes Top Honours at Toronto Bike Race

Justason and Murray Expect Pay Big Juicy Pay Hikes

Greg Justason and Kevin Murray Party with Unidentified People

Bonny River, NB - It didn't take long for word to spread to the Ratz players that the team has some money to spend this summer. Greg Justason said, "I heard about it awhile ago and never said anything. Then I read that the team was offering guys like Mike Gould $5,000,000 to play in an industrial league? What the hell is that all about? If what I hear and read is true and and that me and Murray are the second and third most valuable players on the Ratz, we deserve to be paid like it. Geez, even guys like Chris Hoffman are being talked about. Whoa, talk about the barrel being scraped."

Kevin Murray met with reporters as he left team headquarters. Murray has been rumoured to be leaving the team, but said, "I heard what Crusty said and he's right. If they can offer Hoffman and Gould even a can of beer apiece, then me and Crusty are worth a lot of dough. I ain't saying where I heard it, but I heard Stevens sold a bunch of beer bottles this summer and the team is swimming in money."


Joe Walsh Scores 500th Goal, Stevens Stops by to Celebrate

Joe Walsh (R) and Joe Stevens (Glasses) Celebrate Recently

Toronto, Ontario, Canada - It took awhile but Joe Walsh finally has his 500th career goal. Walsh plays on the Tony's Pizza and Pest Control Rangers in the GTA Hockey League and got a surprise visit from old friend Joe Stevens who was in town doing some promotional work for the Bonny River Ratz. Stevens was participating in the "Burn Out with your Buddies" Program that allows under-privileged kids in the GTA who don't have lawnmowers and still want to light up the tires. Walsh was involved in the charity and got Stevens involved and it has been a big hit.

Walsh noted, "To score 500 goals is a big thrill for me. To have somebody like Joe Stevens take time out to come celebrate is phenomenal. Stevens is one of my all-time heroes; him and Taylor. They really showed me a lot. The Ratz have really helped these kids too. Without them, they would never have known what it's like to light up the tires on a lawnmower, so that's pretty special."


Photo of Hoffman and Dugas After a Night of Partying Surfaces

Chris Hoffman (L) Tries to Revive Andrew Dugas

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Now you know


Vandals Shut Down #1 Highway Ramp

Gravel and Signs Block Entrance to #1 Highway in St. George

St. George, NB - In what experts are declaring the "work of professionals," the entrance ramp to the #1 Highway has been blocked. Located directly across from Lakewood Fitness, somebody dumped loads of gravel and then felt bad about it, and added signs to warn people. Anybody having inofrmation regarding this serious crime is aksed to call 1-800-222-SPIT.

Joe Walsh's Bizarre Behaviour Continues

Joe Walsh with New Vegas Bride

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dugas Confirms it - "The Voices told me to leave the Ratz!

Andrew Dugas works to keep voices at bay

Bonny River, NB - It has long been speculated and was recently confirmed that Andrew Dugas' exit from the Ratz was not a personality conflict with some of the stars on the team. When Dugas left two seasons ago, it was rumoured that he had some issues with Mark Taylor and Joe Stevens over the amount of defensive help he was receiving. Dugas supposedly felt that the Ratz were being too protective of him and he wanted to see more work.

Now, it has surfaced that the "voices" told him to leave as confirmed with a recent Hockey Voice photo.


Chambers Caught with Big Chub On

Carl Chambers with Trophy Fish late Saturday

Friday, August 14, 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009

League to Investigate Walsh's Dealings with Cunningham and Hooper

Matty Walsh Making Tracks with Greg Hooper (R) and Geoff Cunningham in Tow

Blacks Harbour, NB - Just hours after Kingfishers star Chris Hoffman announced his intentions to possibly negotiate a deal with the rival Bonny River Ratz, Matty Walsh was photographed in Saint John with two bags said to contain a substantial amount of cash. Hoffman noted that the Ratz had hit the 7 figure range on several offers this summer and he was interested.

The FIHL has made a brief statement that reads: "The FIHL is taking allegations very seriously that Matty Walsh has made available some suspicious money to his players. We do not condone the use of this type of negotiating tactics. It is our understanding that all money used by the Ratz is solely from the sale of beer bottles. Further comments will be made as we become more aware of the situation."


Hoffman Preparing a "Move"

Chris Hoffman Works on Balance and Poise

Blacks Harbour , NB - Chris Hoffman met with a scrum of reporters early Thursday morning as he was going into a ballet studio. He said, "I read the Ratz are offering to pay a base salary of $5,000,000 to Mike Gould and guys like that. I read that in the Voice so it must be true. I should be able to get $300,000 based on that. Matty Walsh said he'd get me a few beer at the end of the year and that has been the commitment from the Kingfishers so far. He's too busy playing Jim Leahy out at Lake Utopia to pay attention to me. I think Jamie Harris might be Randy from the Trailer Park Boys too."

Hockey Voice Finds New Wedding Picture

Jamie Harris, Matty Walsh and Blushing Bride

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Ratz and Friends Join Together for Good Cause

Not all work, some play

Andrew Dugas says, "I heard the drinks were on the house"
Carl Chambers proves critics wrong about driving abilities
Eric Lee Giving 110 and Jason McFarlane in background gives 111
L to R - Kevin Murray, Jason McFarlane, Dale Tucker, Sean Morton, Greg Justason, Eric Trueman, Carl Chambers, Andrew Dugas, Mark Taylor, Joe Stevens

Back Bay, NB - The Bonny River Ratz and friends of the Ratz congregated at the Barrett's residence last Saturday morning and finished up the construction of the woodshed and piled up the firewood.

Hockey Voice Releases Rare Photos

Walsh and Stevens on the Job
Matty Walsh Poses for Rare Photo
A very upset Joe Stevens

Bonny River, NB - Hockey Voice VP of Operations Chris Richardson said he was scrounging around through the archives and found some rare photos that he wanted to share with the readers.

Richardson noted, "We had pictures of a real Toronto Maple Leaf drinking out of the Stanley Cup, Mr. Dressup beating kids and Houdini locking his keys in his car, but decided on these two particular ones. Supposedly, there's one of Mark Taylor missing an open net, but we haven't been able to get our paws on that as it probably doesn't exist.



Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Chambers: Rumours are Not True!"

Chad Chambers with Timber Wolf Shirt

Blacks Harbour, NB - Chad Chambers was visibly upset when asked about a possible deal he has signed with the League Champions Timberwolves. Chambers snapped at reporters when he was spotted wearing a Wold shirt. He noted, "Is there not any privacy in this league? I guess nobody has heard that wolf shirts are chick magnets these days? I'm staying put until I hear otherwise, no further comment."

A Look at Behind the Scenes at the Hockey Voice

Chris Richardson Works Hard while Joe Stevens Sweats it out in the Background

Hoffman Exercising Hard to Get Back into Game Shape

Chris Hoffman Does his Stretching Before Working Out

Saint John, NB, Canada - Chris Hoffman says he got the idea of doing his abnormal stretching from watching a dog in his neighbourhood. Hoffman said, "I was sitting in the front and watched this big dog walk by, fetch 'er up and put his leg behind his ear. It didn't look hard to do and as they say, the rest is history. I think I may have some ancestors in either Germany or Labrador and no I don't do it in front of the TV when company is over either."

Walsh Continues with Bizarre Behaviour

Joe Walsh (Hat on Backwards) with Weird Friends

Bonny River, NB - It appears that although he manages to play hockey all summer in Toronto, Joe Walsh is skating on thin ice at the Hockey Voice. A recent picture of Walsh and his band of weird friends has been obtained by the Hockey Voice and disciplinary action or possible termination is possible.

Yesterday, VP of Operations Chris Richardson noted Walsh was being scrutinized and will have some sort of disciplinary action taken against him for "behaviour unbecoming of a Hockey Voice employee."


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Gould: "Ratz Pulled the Offer Off the Table"

Matty Walsh and Mike Gould Partying Hard on Kingfishers Dime
Ratz Contract Offer
Bonny River, NB - Many feel this may be the final blow to Mike Gould's hockey career and will serve as a reminder to what could have been for the Pennfield native. Gould, who was touted as a possible financier to the deal that would have seen the Ratz being sold to him and others.
Gould said, "I was told by staff at Ratz headquarters to take my time and look the offer over. I then received an e-mail saying I had 24 hours to decide or the deal was off. I was not around to get the e-mail and now it has been pulled from the table. Matty Walsh told me I was worth more than 5 million anyway, so Stevens can take the offer and shove it."




Stevens Takes up new Hobby

Joe Stevens Surfing Saturday
Bonny River, NB - A picture has been obtained that has many of the Bonny River Ratz wondering if team captain Joe Stevens is physically and mentally strong enough to lead them to a championship. It shows a very old and feeble Stevens on a surfboard on a huge wave that appears to be fake in nature.
Teammate Carl Chambers said, "If that is the same Joe Stevens that will be leading us this fall, then I seriously am quite concerned. He looks older than dirt and I ain't buying the surfing gig personally."

Report: Joe Walsh is out of Control



Toronto, Ontario, Canada - A recent photo that the Hockey Voice has obtained has caused it to re-examine its ties with entertainment critic Joe Walsh. The picture shows a very hammered Walsh talking to an even "more hammered" friend. VP of Operations Chris Richardson was quick to comment on the issue. He noted, "We do not condone this type of behaviour and from all accounts, this happened during business hours. We all get like this sometime, but seldom are we on the clock when it happens. We are reviewing this for sure."