FIHL Releases Tie Breaking Method

Richardson's Assistant Makes Key Announcement

FIHL Policy Manager Dink Winkerson

Blacks Harbour, NB - Hockey Voice VP of Operations Chris Richardson announced today that the FIHL has a policy for breaking ties in the standings. Richardson's assistant Dick Winkerson drafted the policy which is the same as the NHL's and Richardson presented it at a press conference late Thursday.

Richardson said, "This league is just under the NHL and a lot of guys can feel it, so we decided to adopt this policy after the NHL's."

The FIHL standings are determined by total points, with the teams ranked according to points. If two or more teams are tied in total points, the tie is broken using the following criteria, in order:
· Most wins.
· Most points in games against each other among the tied teams.
· The greater positive differential between goals scored for and against among the tied teams.

Locals Continue to Gather Vast Recognition

O'Halloran and Robbins Land Magazine Deal

Former Ratz Star Jim O'Halloran and Jeff Robbins on Maxim Cover

Bonny River, NB - In what has become commonplace for locals lately, Jim O'Halloran and Jeff Robbins have found themselves on the cover of an influential magazine cover. The two were selected from thousands of entrants for their great physiques and attention to a healthy lifestyle. They were photographed on the Magaguadavic River last summer by Hockey Voice Editor Mark Taylor.

Ratz management was quick to distance themselves from the pair. Team Captain Joe Stevens said, "These people were involved in something that we as an organization certainly couldn't tolerate or promote. The boozing that goes with people like this is not what we're all about. Without going into a lot of details, O'Halloran and Dugas have felt the wrath of the Ratz organization when it comes to this sort of behaviour."

Hoffman Denies Cat Picture

Hoffman : "It Ain't My Cat!"Chris Hoffman Denies Giving Booze to Cat

Blacks Harbour, NB - Kingfishers injured star Chris Hoffman has found himself in the midst of a FIHL investigation. Hoffman's name has been linked to a drunk cat and he flatly denies it. He noted, "I don't have that brand of vodka. That is not my cat. Does the Hockey Voice not have anything important to report on?"

Meanwhile, the Hockey Voice officials stand by the story and the picture. The Director of Photography Matty Walsh says he "was told by a semi-reliable source that is was possible it was Hoffman's cat and that was enough to run the story. We've gone with less information in the past so cool it, man. If Hoffman is feeding booze to a cat, he should own up to it."

Joe Walsh Apologizes to Hockey Voice and Readers

Walsh Arrested in Toronto on Reckless Driving Charges

Joe Walsh on a Busy Toronto Street

Toronto, Ontario, Canada - Joe Walsh met with The Hockey Voice staff through a video link late Wednesday. Walsh noted, "I am so ashamed of what I have done and the embarrassment brought to the staff of the Hockey Voice. I wasn't showing off for the chicks. It wasn't like that at all. It wasn't that I wanted to get some jail time and get on the Ratz either. Something just came over me and I cranked 'er. Tell all the readers I'm sorry and I'll be back soon."

The Hockey Voice obtained the picture and information under the new Right to Know Shit Act which is commonplace at the publication's headquarters in Bonny River. No further word was released when Walsh would be in court again or what charges are being considered.

Kingfishers to Release Movie in the Fall 2009

Walsh: "This is Coming Out Just After Moose Season"Blacks Harbour, NB - Set for release just after moose season 2009, the cast of characters that are the Fundy Kingfishers are in a spoof of the Simpson's Movie. Director Matty Walsh, "This flick embodies the true spirit of the Kingfishers. This is what we're all about - guzzling suds, woofing your cookies, burping and farting. We made sure it was okay for family viewing too which is important."

Cunningham's Latest Movie a Flop!

Funny Cunny II Fails at Box Office

Geoff Cunningham Upset Over Latest Box Office Numbers

Pennfield, NB - As so often happens when somebody tries to milk a good thing, Funny Cunny II flopped at the box office according to numbers supplied to The Hockey Voice. Geoff Cunningham, who enjoyed immense popularity with his comical super hero flick Funny Cunny, has obviously run out of steam. Cunningham's sequel Funny Cunny II drew 16 people in its frst week of release. A very distraught Cunnigham said, "Me and the producers thought this was really going to be a hit. I brought in guys like Josh Bagley to play Sleepy Man and Matty Walsh to play Little Big Man and it still flopped. I don't know what else I can do. I'm sorry, I gotta go, man."

Walsh: Happiest and Saddest Day in Kingfishers Hockey

Friend of Team in Playboy

Betty Lou Thelma Liz

Blacks Harbour, NB - Matty Walsh fought back tears of joy and sadness as he tried to pull himself together to talk to reporters at noon today. The lady that the boys called simply, "BLT," appeared in this month's Playboy. Walsh managed, "We have to accept that BLT is gone. She's one of Hef's girls now, and not ours. I am so proud of her. I mean, me, Heelis, Ross, Wright, Richard, Harris and all of us loved her so much. I knew that when you get a sexy woman like her, sooner or later something will happen. I want to thank her for doing so much for this club."

Senior Silverkings Play Host to St. Andrews Thrashers This Saturday Night

WOW ! This just in..............

ACTION PACKED BATTLE FOR 1st PLACE!!!

SATURDAY, JANUARY 31st

FUNDY ARENA
7:30 PM

BLACKS HARBOUR SILVERKINGS (SR)


VS

ST. ANDREWS THRASHERS

Ratz Announce New Assistant Captains

Stevens: "This is a New Day for Bonny River Hockey"

New Assistant Captain Carl Chambers with Captain Stevens in the Background

New Assistant Captain Mark Taylor Assistant Captain Jim Buchanan Leaves Press Conference

Bonny River, NB - Ratz Team Captain Joe Stevens met with the press briefly Tuesday night. Stevens noted that a new era had started in Bonny River Hockey. Stevens said, "I looked at the candidates and felt that at this time Taylor and Chambers were ready. After a long thought process, Buchanan was re-instated as an assistant captain too. When the Ratz released Jim O'Halloran a couple years ago, they went through a process where a lot of guys had worn the A. This decision will stop that. Just the thought that this unit is bracing for a big playoff run will cause some serious poop stains throughout the league."

Hyslop's Play Lands Him on Magazine Cover

Hyslop on Cover of Influential Hockey PublicationJJ Hyslop on Hockey Scoreboard Cover

Blackland, NB - JJ Hyslop's play in the FIHL hasn't gone unnoticed in the 2008-2009 season. He is responsible for the outstanding showing in the squad's first year in the league. Team GM Ryan Weatherby said, "I'm so proud of JJ and what he has accomplished. This magazine cover thing may mean he will have to leave and go on to bigger things, but that's hockey. The picture shows him in that same stance he uses so nicely. Some nights it seems like he stands on his head for us."

Bagley Day to Day

Bagley Injured Versus RatzMacNeil's Slapper Does Damage

Kyle Leslie Explains Remedy to Josh Bagley at Press Conference

Blacks Harbour, NB - As the Fundy Kingfishers celebrated a big win over arch rivals the Bonny River Ratz Sunday night, defense specialist Josh Bagley was nursing a serious injury. Ratz team doctor Kyle Leslie called the injury, "life threatening." Leslie said, "Bags definitely needs to look after that injury. If it would have been about 3 feet higher, we'd be talking about hockey bag and that's another ball of wax altogether."

Bagley blocked a Jack MacNeill slapshot and it split his big toe wide open. Bagley intends on being in the lineup Tuesday night, but team officials haven't given him the black light yet.

Price Named Mr. February by The Hockey Voice

Meet Mr. FebruaryXXX Star Ryan "Fisher" Price

St. George, NB - The Hockey Voice announced that Ryan Price has been named Mr. February by the Hockey Voice Staff. Chief stats and Director of Photography Matty Walsh said, "Mr. Price met the criteria we have set for this award. That is, he is in good shape, likes to have fun and stick with what's going on the freeze, know what I'm saying?"

It should be noted that Walsh was named Mr. January, 2009.

Ratz Unveil 3rd Set of Jerseys

Charlotte County's Only Semi-Pro Team Puts News Jerseys on Display

Mark Taylor's #61 on Display at Press Conference

Bonny River, NB - As the flock of sports writers jammed Ratz Headquarters to get a sneak peek of the storied franchise's new jerseys, Ratz officials cautioned other FIHL teams. Joe Stevens said, "This marks the start of a new Chinese New Year. Yes, the year of the Ratz has come and gone, but we're focused on bringing the glory back to this team. Jason McGrattan, Matty Walsh, or anybody else for that matter, take heed, this is a new beginning."

The jerseys are a little different than what fans have been accustomed to. The trademark Ratz logo is on one arm on a New York Rangers style jersey.

Golden Partridge Award Lands Taylor on Time Magazine Cover

Taylor: "A Huge Privlege to Deliver Local Hockey News"

Hockey Voice Editor Mark Taylor in Time Magazine

Bonny River, NB - "It has been bigger than I ever imagined," said Mark Taylor on Monday when it was announced his picture would be featured on Time Magazine. He noted, "I never thought that when I started up this publication, it would get this big this fast. I have to thank all the staff for their hard work to make this possible. The Golden Partridge Award belongs to everybody."

Bagley and Richard Feautured in Best Friends Magazine

Bagley: We're Just Buddies, No More, No LessKingfishers Josh Bagley and Frank Richard Share a Special Moment

Blacks Harbour, NB - Best Friends magazine said they wanted to do a story about hockey players and their friendship because of the game. The very popular magazine heard about Josh Bagley and Frank Richard and decided the two were ideal. Bagley said, "Yeah, me and Frankie go way back. We can always count on each other and he's always there, know what I'm saying?"

The magazine hits store shelves in early February, 2009.

Anonymous Letter to Hockey Voice Has Staff Puzzled

Dear Hockey Voice,

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don't know them.I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her. Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my hockey equipment so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls.'

When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind my hockey gear, that I noticed a hairline crack where the blade meets the graphite shaft on my new one piece hockey stick.Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it?

Signed,
Anonymous

Walsh Grabs Onto The Hockey Voice Coattails

New Magazine Coming Soon

The Player Editor Matty Walsh

Blacks Harbour, NB - Matty Walsh said he owes it all to the Hockey Voice. Walsh was responding to questions about his new magazine set to be released in February. He noted, "Well I was Mr. January if you recall. The response was so overwhelming that I decided to grab onto the fame and go with it. There's a hit in bullshit in case you never noticed and that's what I'm all about, man. Increase the peace."

Chinese New Year Does Ratz in

Stevens: Kingfishers Gooned Taylor

Outraged Ratz Captain Joe Stevens

Blacks Harbour, NB - The score was 13-5 but Joe Stevens said that it was not indicative of the play. He added, "The Kingfishers gooned our big guy tonight and we just never responded. He was pulled down by three of them idiots on a breakaway and no penalty shot was called. Walsh was so crooked tonight, I swear his socks were on cross-threaded."

Meanwhile, a very relieved Matty Walsh said, "We were lucky tonight that we caught the Ratz on a big three game run this past week. They came out flat. Plus, it was Chinese New Year and the end of the Year of the Rat; a very emotional time for them. As far as gooning Taylor, I won't deny we paid special attention to him tonight but to call it gooning is a little much in my books."

Matheson Wins Player of the Week Award

Matheson's Hat Trick Against the Ratz Does the TrickXXX Star Scott Matheson

St. George, NB - Scott Matheson received word that he had been awarded the FIHL player of the week prize and said, "Geez, that's nice. I certainly didn't expect it but everybody has been telling me that when you can score 3 against the Ratz, it's like 21 in dog goals. Yeah, I'm really pleased with this award."

FIHL Announces Addition to the Big Prize

FIHL Champs to Take Home More Than The Fish Bowl This Season

Blacks Harbour, NB - The old saying that money doesn't stink is coming true. The FIHL is awarding a large pile of 24 Karats of Crap to the winner this season. In a press release, the league noted, "We are happier than a pig in shit to make this announcement today. It marks the beginning of a new era. The prize was found on the doorstep of FIHL Headquarters Thursday night and no donor was revealed. League officials did say that it was not on a burning paper bag."

Kingfishers Call Emergency Meeting

Walsh: "I am Making Sure the Boys Have Their Ratz Flu Vaccines"Kingfishers Hold Meeting

Blacks Harbour, NB -Matty Walsh is certainly not taking Sunday night's game versus the Ratz lightly. He met with the team late Thursday night to map out their strategy. He said, "I found a lot of the boys have let their Ratz Flu vaccines go and that will make it tough. Hoffman is out of action Sunday for sure. It doesn't matter how much I tell them, they still screw up. I'm getting sick and fed about the whole thing. They had better lay off the Fat Bastard wine a little bit by the looks of them."

The Hockey Voice Grabs Top Spot at Golden Partridge Awards Ceremony

Taylor: "We Done it! We Finally Done It!"

Chief Stats Man and Director of Photography Matty Walsh Makes Way Through Crowd

Head Psychic and Hockey Insider Geoff Cunningham Poses for Photo Op

Piskehegan, NB - The Hockey Voice took home top honours at the much-coveted Golden Partridge Awards. The Hockey Voice was nominated as Charlotte County's top sports publication. It beat out the Courier Legion Sports report by a narrow margin. The Golden Partridge Director Miles O'Toole said, "The Hockey Voice's heavy hitting reporting style along with its thought-provoking poll questions set it apart from the competition. Congratulations to Mark Taylor and his staff for a job well done."

All staff was in attendance and editor Mark Taylor thanked all of them for their contributions. He said, "This is a group effort. I don't know what else to say. This is a great day in Charlotte County journalism. I think Obama was right when he said I think we can beat them rotten bastards and we did and he did."

Joe Walsh Adds #3 Best Joke of 2009 (So Far)

Rum & Coke

A Priest was seated next to a Cape Bretoner on a flight to Halifax. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.The Cape Bretoner asked for Rum & Coke, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the priest if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust..... "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Cape Bretoner then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

Cunny's Crystal Ball is Back!

Cunny Makes Bold PredictionsHockey Voice Head Psychic Geoff Cunningham

Editor's Note: The Hockey Voice takes no responsibility for any hurt feelings, character blemishes, or deep sadness readers may experience by reading Cunny's Crystal Ball. Mr. Cunningham simply tells everybody what the crystal is telling him. Please do not shoot the messenger. Even though you may get off with a lighter sentence than if you shot a moose, please do not do so.

The FIHL and the Hockey Voice have one united message and that is "INCREASE THE PEACE!"

• Mark Taylor will develop a new drink called Booger Blend that will be the biggest hit in the booze market since Harvey Ball Hangers. It will contain tequila and car boogers. For those people who live in a cave, car boogers are those things that hang off your car in the winter that are comprised of salt and slush.
  
• The St. George XXX will finish in top spot for the 2008-2009 regular season and get a first round bye. They will get so big and lazy during the long lay off that they will be ousted in the second round.
• Lepreau Pirates star Trevor Lomax will hook onto a fellow league heavyweight and lose some teeth in the process. The tooth fairy will bring him enough money that the Lepreau Pirates will be able to clear off their league debt.
• Josh Bagley will win a year's supply of jelly beans for correctly guessing how many jelly beans are in a life-sized mannequin of Jamie Harris. Matty Walsh will opt out of the competition as he cannot count that high.
• Ryan Weatherby of the Blackland Twisties will win the FIHL executive/coach of the year award. He will credit his team's success to the execution of their game plan and the ability of them to always keep at least one man high at all times.
• The Bonny River Ratz, with no less than 3 ex-jail birds on the team, will grab top honours at the 2009 BIG SHOW in Quispamsis.

BIG SHOW Dates Announced

Look out! The BIG SHOW is Coming!

Some BIG SHOW Action from 2008

Reefer Man at Rocky's

Darryl Cooke and Chris Hill Relax

Adam Kenendy, Jason McGrattan and Joe Walsh Share Tales

Matty Walsh, Greg Groom and the Mailman in Deep Discussions

Blacks Harbour, NB - The dates for the Kings County Moose Light Oldtimers Annual Invitational Hockey Tournament (more commonly referred to as the BIG SHOW) has been announced and it will be held March 26, 27, 28 and 29. It is held in Quispamsis. The entrance fee due before playing is $595 per team. It is open to all players over 19 years of age and has both old-timers and open categories.

The tournament has long been a favourite of many local players and is the one to go to if you want to play hockey, meet new people and have a lot of fun. The roster of teams fills up quickly and the Hockey Voice will be obtaining entrance forms soon.

This is one weekend you don't want to miss! If you miss this, then your hockey season will have a serious void in it.

Pavilion Cup Coming to Lily Lake in Saint John

This first-ever Pavilion Cup Challenge in Saint John will see individuals from all ages and walks of life participate and enjoy the many attractions Rockwood Park has to offer. Pond hockey has been well received in others parts of Canada and rising to the challenge to meet this overwhelming need, an enthusiastic committee has created an activity you, your company, employees and family will enjoy.
The festivities will attract 500 participants, musicians playing a wide variety of music, fantastic prizes and of course, some old fashioned pond hockey!

For more information, just go to pavilioncup.com/pavilion.

XXX Spanks Ratz 6-0

XXX Victorious in "Statement Game"XXX GM Jason McGrattan

Blacks Harbour, NB - In what Hockey Voice Hockey Insider Geoff Cunningham called a "statement game," the Ratz were blanked by the XXX 6-0 in Tuesday night FIHL action. Cunningham added, "This game was basically one that the Ratz needed to win to show everybody that they are one of the big boys and want to play in the big boys sandbox. Although its not the end of the world, they will have to bounce back against the Kingfishers Sunday night."

Scott Matheson scored a hat trick while Jason McGrattan's pair and Sarah Ross' single rounded out the scoring. Nick Ganong recorded the very rare shutout between the irons. Ganong was tested but was equal to the task again and again.

Meanwhile, XXX GM Jason McGrattan met with the scrum of reporters after the game and offered, "We knew the Ratz wanted this game bad but we wanted it worse. The rivalries in this league are what makes it fun and interesting. I've known most of the guys for years and want to beat them every chance I get. I'm not so naive to think they will just go away now."

Ratz management were quite tight-lipped but Captain Joe Stevens did speak briefly as he stepped on the Rodent Express. He noted, "We had no flow tonight. When you don't score a goal, you have to blame the dozen or so guys that were skating around all night. They kept Taylor off the board and had two or three guys on him all night. The rest of us should have found the openings and scored but we didn't. L.D. Ganong was solid. Shutouts are rare in this league and when you accomplish that, it says a lot."

Van Horne Recovering Nicely

Van Horne Hopes to be Back SoonXXX Star Chris Van Horne

St. George, NB - Chris Van Horne said he is recuperating nicely and is looking forward to returning to the line up as soon as possible. No word on what his next stunt will be, but Team GM Jason McGrattan has already indicated what his stance is on the subject.

XXX Set Example for League

McGrattan Leading the WayJason McGrattan Shows off New Ride

St. George, NB - Jason McGrattan says he felt he had to do something to get the message across about the issues facing the environment. McGrattan said, "I wanted the XXX to be recognized as the FIHL's greenest team. I have a new ride now and it's easy on gas. I hope everybody else can follow suit. See ya man."

The Final Quarter of the Season is Upon the FIHL Teams

FIHL Teams Head Down Home Stretch

Blacks Harbour, NB – FIHL headquarters were abuzz this morning with anticipation as the final quarter of the season lied ahead. The Fundy Kingfishers hold a slim one point lead over the St. George XXX atop the league standings. Kingfishers’ kingpin spoke to reporters briefly before heading out on team business. Walsh noted, “We’re not too concerned with XXX or any team really. The XXX are playing the surging Ratz tonight and I pity them. Taylor and company have stepped up their game of late and look set to challenge for top spot. We play the Ratz Sunday night and already I’m getting guys who think they may be sick.”

Jason McGrattan, on the other, sees things differently. He noted, “If I were Walsh, I’d be really concerned about the way the league is shaping up. No longer can you take a night off and grab the two easy points. The Ratz Flu is going around and we face them tonight. I suspect they will come at us with both barrels blazing. We just have to hope Nick Ganong can work some magic.”

The Ratz are in third with 21 points, two more than the much improved Blackland Twisters. The Blacks harbour Timberwolves hold down 5th spot with 14 points and the most improved team in the league, the NBCC St. Andrews squad has 9 points. In fact, NBCC head guy Justin Sweeney met with reporters this morning as well. He noted, “We blew a 7-4 third period lead to the Ratz last night but managed to garner one point in the shootout. We want to make it tougher for teams to play us and I think we have been successful. I think that when we finally got the team we were looking for; some teams may have taken us lightly. As McGrattan said, you can’t float in and think that you will get two points for showing up.”

The Lepreau Pirates continue to battle on ice and off ice issues but still have 7 points, and are breathing down the Community College’s necks.

The first round bye for the top team appears to be going to either XXX or the Kingfishers and it will depend on who can put together a streak down the stretch. The February 10th tilt between the two may very well decide who will have their feet up in the first round.

FIHL Issues Health Warning

Cunningham Announced as the FIHL All Star Bench Boss

Cunningham: "I'm Really Pumped, Man!" FIHL Bench Boss Geoff Cunnigham

Blacks Harbour, NB - Geoff Cunningham showed up at the Press Conference Monday night looking like he was right out of the 70's, but says he has a modern outlook on the game. He noted, "I am so proud to be a part of this game. When I heard that they had secured Taylor and a few other Ratz, I knew this thing was legit, man. I'm really digging what they're grooving at."

New Helmets to Hit the FIHL in the Fall of 2009

Matty Walsh: "I'm Just in the Testing Stage Right Now"Walsh Models New Lightweight Helmets for The Hockey Voice

Blacks Harbour, NB - Reaction has been favourable so far for Matty Walsh's new helmets that he is marketing in the area. Walsh said, "I developed this model after getting feedback from a number of guys who said the current ones are heavy and cumbersome. You hardly know you're wearing these babies. Even though I am just in the testing stage right now, just about all the Kingfishers are on board and have ordered them for the fall."

FIHL VS NHL'ers Game Set for March 11

FIHL Gears Up for NHL Legends Game

The Fundy Industrial Hockey League is gearing up for an exhibition game against a group of touring former NHL stars. The ex-pros are comprised of players like Bryan Trottier, Terry O'Reilly, Gary Leeman, Rick Middleton, Glenn Anderson, Billy Smith and Butch Goring. Between them they have more than 20 Stanley Cups. Trottier, Smith and, most recently Anderson, are all Hockey Hall of Fame members.

The FIHL has rounded up an all star squad that will have their work cut out for them. The local point man for the event Matty Walsh said, “I was approached by the organizer Steve Walton to assemble a team of guys that would like to have the thrill of competing against players of this caliber. The only drawback was that we will have to sell some tickets, but from what I’ve heard already, this will not be an issue. A lot of guys said they’d pay the money out of their own pockets to just to suit up. It will be a nice event for sure.

The big fish we pulled in on the weekend was the Bonny River Ratz BIG line of Mark Taylor, Greg Crusty Justason and Joe Stevens. Then, when he heard about that, Andrew Moffitt jumped on board. Greg Groom, Jeremy Mahar, Justin Sweeney, Jason McGrattan, Rod Card and Mike England are some other notables. I am waiting to hear back from a few guys but this is the core group.”

They game kicks off March 11 at the Border Arena.

Richard Says He Feels 110 % Better

Richard Working Out Every Day and Loving It!Frank Richard Shows Dexterity

Blacks Harbour, NB - With the new blond hairdo flowing, Kingfishers star Frank Richard sat down with the HOckey Voice and said, "I feel better than I have for years. I gave up all my demons and I am concentrating on being fit. I take this role model thing very serious. I find that if I eat the odd dish of dog food, I can really bend over and do things a lot better. It's a little embarrassing for some people though. We had company the other night and for some reason I felt the urge to get down in front of the TV and start this stretching stuff. I thought somebody was gonna boot me in the ass though."

FIHL Greats to Meet NHL Greats in St. Stephen March 11

Taylor Confirms Participation in Exhibition GameRatz Forward Mark Taylor Signs Deal

St. Stephen, NB - Matty Walsh is acting as the recruiting officer for the Charlotte County All Stars and said that he has just found the missing piece to the puzzle. Mark Taylor of the Bonny River Ratz has signed a deal and Walsh says this signing "gives the event instant credibility." An exhibition game between a group of former NHL stars is touring the area and and will be playing at the Border Arena on March 11.

Some of the NHLers whom are confirmed for this event are Brian Trottier, Billy Smith, Gary Leeman, Terry O’Reilly, Rick Middleton, Butch Goring, and recent hall of fame inductee Glenn Anderson and more names to be announced as we get closer to the event. Walsh said, "Once the NHL guys hear that Taylor is on board, I shudder to think who will be on board then. This is a great opportunity for the FIHL to show the people what we have going and also to see some guys who can put the biscuit in the basket. Some of the players I have assembled are Jeff Ross, Greg Groom, Mike England, Deke Cheney, Matt Walsh, Jeremy Mahar, Jason McGrattan, Mark Hatt, Ryan Weatherby, Justin Sweeney, and Martin Tatton. It's hard me to tell if they are in this so they can play with Taylor or want to try their luck against the NHL guys. We'll see."

Buchanan the Subject of FIHL Investigation

Buchanan Denies Taking Steroids

Bonny River, NB - Jim Buchanan met with reporters briefly Friday morning and flatly denied any use of any performance enhancing drugs. Buchanan said, "This is nothing more than Walsh, Harris and Groom and the rest of them idiots trying to deflect anything that's been coming at them. If a guy can't get in shape without somebody questioning it, that's pretty sad. Now if the Hockey Voice could find something else to talk about besides me that would be greatly appreciated. "

Walsh Jetting Around on Team's Dime?

Kingfishers Involved in Turmoil Over Walsh's Leisure Trips

Matty Walsh and Ski Bunny on Thursday

Blacks Harbour, NB - It didn’t take long for Josh Bagley to react to the rumours that Matty Walsh was buzzing around on the team’s plane. Bagley was visibly upset coming out of team headquarters Thursday evening and noted, “Okay, this guy (Matty Walsh) is in Florida one day and the next day he’s out skiing? Geez, I saw a friggin’ crow trying to jumpstart a porcupine on the side of the highway this morning it was so cold. Where in hell is that David Itchypussy now with all that crap about global warming? I want my palms greased a little bit and not the way Groom seems to be doing it either. This entire organization has some big problems, man. I'm freezing my ass off and other people are having a helluva time.”

Sweeney Says Fans Support Picking Up

NBCC St. Andrews' Upset of XXX Brings in Bigger Fan Base

Justin Sweeney Loads up his Truck with Fans

St. Andrews, NB - The victory last Sunday over the XXX has caused a great stir at the NBCC Campus in St. Andrews. Team coach Justin Sweeney was just arriving with a truck load of fans when contacted by the Hockey Voice. Sweeney said, "It's crazy really. You wouldn't think a win could turn things around but it has. I have brought in some new fans to meet the team."

Kingfishers Captain Caught in Scandal?

Groom Denies Any WrongdoingGreg Groom (L) Caught in a Money Exchange

Blacks Harbour, NB - FIHL officials are probing a serious allegation that Kingfishers Captain Greg Groom was involved in some sort of money laundering and/or gambling scheme. A picture was given to the Hockey Voice by an anonymous source and it clearly shows Groom attempting to give a bearded man some American cash.

Groom says he is fighting all the allegations. When contacted, he said, "Geez, the Hockey Voice again! How in hell would they know if I was paying somebody off or buying a ZZ Top box set? Everywhere you go, the Hockey Voice is there. I didn't do anything wrong and I'll be proving that. What a bunch of crap this is!"

Joe Walsh Takes a Vacation

Walsh Takes a Breather from the Hockey Voice

Joe Walsh Watches Hazardous Material Guys do the their Job

Pecker Pants, Florida - Joe Walsh said he just needed to take a break from the daily grind of the Hockey Voice. He said, "Well, man, we got that nomination thing and I thought it was time to re-charge the old batteries. I'll be back in a week or so."

Dugas Relaxes After Loss to Ratz

Dugas' New Hairdo a Big Hit on Team

Timberwolves Goalie Andrew Dugas Unwinds

Blacks harbour, NB - It was just hours after the loss to the Ratz Tuesday night and Andrew Dugas was spotted by the Hockey Voice biking through an unnamed Florida beach. Dugas said, "I wanted to beat them so bad but I knew that when Taylor got on the board early, it was going to be a tough night. He usually sparks the attack as he did when I was with them. I can't wait to face them again and I am guaranteeing a win right here, right now. Peace. By the way, I'd appreciate it if from now on, you could call me the King. Thank you very much."

NBCC St. Andrews Hosting Winter Carnival

St. Andrews, NB - The NBCC St. Andrews campus has announced it will be hosting a Winter Carnival on Jan 30 & Jan 31, at the college. It will be an excellent family outing according to Hockey Coach and Chief Bottle Washer Justin Sweeney. Sweeney noted, "There’s going to be inflatable fun houses and mazes for kids on Saturday the 31st, sumo-wrestling suits and a dunk tank on Friday evening (Jan 30), carnival games, prizes, access to our climbing wall (guardian permission for that one), clown, magician, some local entertainment, drop-off boxes for the local food bank, BBQ, young children’s play area and pretty much whatever else I can put together and fit in to our gym over the next couple weeks.

Admission is FREE…but the rides, foods, and games will cost you…but not much. If you show up Friday night, you’ll probably get a chance to dunk me as I’m wearing a clown costume. Any funds raised go to help the students afford their graduation (which they pay for out of pocket)."

Chamberlain on the Outs at Kingfisher Headquarters?

Kingfishers Growing Impatient with Players Unnamed Local Super Model with Local Hockey Hero

Blacks Harbour, NB - Chadster Chamberlain could be moved as soon as this weekend according to information received by the Hockey Voice. Chamberlain was not present at Monday night's game and speculation was that he was with a local super model enjoying an intimate dinner. Chamberlain was not available but acting Team GM Jamie Harris said, "I can confirm that we are looking at all of our options. Several teams are in the mix at this time. Chamberlain is a fixture with the Kingfishers and indeed a local hockey hero. Matty Walsh is in Florida and I haven't been able to speak to him about this issue. No further comment."

Walsh Taking a Break in the Action

Walsh Expected Back for Sunday's GameMatty Walsh Walks Along Florida Beach Wednesday

Pecker Pants Beach, Florida - The constant media glare of the FIHL has caught up with Kingfishers GM Matty Walsh. Walsh jetted out of town Tuesday night on the team's plane for Florida. When reached in Pecker Pants Beach, Walsh noted, "Is there not any privacy any more? I want to relax and wear my new bathing suit and you guys are here! I'm gonna hit you so f***ing hard it will kill the both of us."

The Hockey Voice Receives Prestigious Nomination

The Hockey Voice Nominated for Golden Partridge AwardHockey Voice Editor Mark Taylor Receives Word of Nomination

Bonny River, NB - The news of a prestigious award nomination is something that can inspire a staff and Wednesday morning's meeting was full of inspiration. Word that The Hockey Voice had been nominated for a Golden partidge Award shot through the little hamlet in a flash. The publication was nominated in the Best Sports Publication category. The Golden Partridge is given out to the Charlotte County media for excellence in reporting.

Geoff Cunningham Overcome with Emotion

Meanwhile, Hockey Voice Psychic Geoff Cunningham was so taken back by the nomination, he broke down. He managed, "I'm so frigging happy for everybody here. We've worked so hard to make this work. When Taylor hired me, he said he would do everything to help me do my job and he has. I gotta go, man."

Hockey Voice Entertainment Critic Joe Walsh

TO, Baby, To - Joe Walsh said that when he heard the news, he put on his Ratz jersey. He noted, "I knew this could happen, but didn't know if it would. We're up against the Legion Sports section in the Courier, so we'll have our work cut out for us."

VP of Operations Chris Richardson

Pilltown, NB - Chris Richardson was leaving for a meeting but did say, "I looked at the number of hits that the Voice has been receiving and knew something positive would have to happen. There's people up in this area that don't have 300 hits, so I think you know what I'm trying to say."

Matty Walsh Talks to Delegates in the Media Industry

Blacks Harbour, NB - Matty Walsh was in a meeting with media delegates but came out and spoke to the press briefly. He noted, "Look, I'm not surprised by the nomination. Beating the Legion Sports section of the Courier will be tough but I know Taylor and he is a competitor. His TV show took on TV Bingo and did really well in the ratings, so I'm not too concerned about this. The staff is all abuzz and we're planning a big party."