Hoffman sends in picture from his youth

Chris Hoffman - Two Balls, One Strike

Stevens battling high water for upcoming moose season

Joe Stevens wading through water

Bonny River, NB - It's the eve of moose season and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a bald headed mouse. Joe Stevens said that as long as he's been moose hunting, the water has never been this high.

"I got out on my motorcycle last night and I think it must have gotten wet or something. This is crazy. Anyway, I'll be moose hunting come Hell or high water, bank on it," commented Stevens.

Everybody is on board for 2010-2011 "The Year of the Habs"

Kyle Leslie gives thumbs up for the Habs

Jason McFarlane gives the Horns for the Habs

Jim Buchanan one huge thumb up for Habs

A St. Stephen fan with obvious loyalties gives his thumb up

Bonny River, NB - In an informal poll done by the Hockey Voice, it was unanimously decided the Montreal Canadiens are the team to beat in 2010-2011. 100 % of people asked said that the Montreal Canadines have what it takes. It marks the first poll done by the Voice and it was astounding at the response.

Stay tuned for future polls.

Walsh takes down bear in tough match

Matty Walsh after tough match on Labour Day Weekend in Blacks Harbour

Blacks Harbour, NB - It was Labour Day Weekend in Blacks Harbour and people from all around came to the Fundy Arena to witness the spectacle of hometown hero Matty Walsh take on a black bear. The match was not as easy as Walsh had originally thought. His brother Joe brought the opponent into town in the back of his car just a day before the match went down.

Matty Walsh summed up the whole thing; "He had me wrapped up right around backwards and it looked like he was gonna break me in half. I really didn't expect it and didn't have any plan for something like this to happen. Joe said he was friendly and would probably just want to play. Anyway, I looked up and saw these balls dangling down, so I reached up and bit down on them as hard as I possibly could. Boys, you never believe the strength you get when you bite your own nuts!"

Walsh made one of the biggest comebacks in Blacks Harbout rassling history and when it was all over, the little guy had his hand held high in the air.

Harris and Walsh announce a split

Jamie Harris at Hockey Voice press conference

Blacks Harbour, NB - Citing what Jamie Harris refers to as "contract obligations not fulfilled," the big time goaltender has decided to pass on the Kingfishers this coming season. Harris noted that although the team won the much prized Fish Bowl this past year for the third time in 4 years, a victory celebration did not follow as was originally promised to him. Harris also mentioned his services are still be offered to any squad who needs a goalie except XXX. According to Harris, Ancients Mariners PR Manager Rob Bosien has offered a celebration after every road win and this is just way too much not to not accept. As it stands right now, Harris will be donning his pads this season but it will not be behind the ever growing and expanding defensive corps he has become accustomed to.

The war of words continued as Team GM Matty Walsh basically drew a line in the Lake Utopia sands and said, "Let us know 100 % or beat it." He feels that the lack of a party is being pinned on him personally and that is "unfair" according to the team executive. He reiterated that he has way too much on the go and does not have a location even if he had time to host a function. This last point is one that Harris vehemently challenges as according to his calculations, Walsh has more land and properties now than he ever has.

Warning: Make Sure you take Telemarketer's Calls Seriously

Mark Taylor is Still Rollin' on the River

It’s not like me to be mesmerized or overcome by a telemarketer’s call but last night I was. I was strumming away on my guitar and then the phone rang. It was a 10 digit number with no spaces in between the area code or anywhere so I had to pick it up. The young lady with an accent said she was looking for Mark Taylor. She asked me I knew Maynard or Millen Taylor and I immediately said “yes.” She said they referred her to me and she was representing or calling me on the behalf of Bell. She inquired if I had a computer and what systems I was running and all that junk. She told me she was offering me a deal on something. The problem was she could have told me she was paying me to buy her product and I wouldn’t have cared. My mind was still back at the first of the call.

I interrupted her and asked her if she was talking to Maynard and Millen Taylor directly and she said she wasn’t but people there had been and that’s where they got my name. This really amazed me because Maynard is my father’s name and he’s been dead for over 25 years and Millen just died this past summer and I delivered his eulogy. I was intrigued by the fact that somebody there had been talking to them and they hadn’t bothered to talk to me directly. Now I am familiar with tarot cards and lottery tickets, so I’m no stranger to the occult. I went on to tell her that somebody there has to be really good with a Ouija Board because they are both dead and that everything she was saying was nothing but a huge bunch of bullshit. I carried on for awhile but stopped when I realized I was the only one left on the line.

As with a lot of things in life, after you reflect back, you wish you would have said something else and this was no exception. I wish I would have asked to speak to the communicator or facilitator and find out what these guys are up to and how they think we’re all doing. Why did they tell them to call me? I know that from now on, I’m taking these calls more seriously and will conduct myself in a very orderly fashion so I don’t miss out things. I erased the number or I would have called them back.

Joe Walsh rolls in the Harbour with Rasslin' Bear

Joe Walsh and the Rasslin' Bear

Blacks Harbour, NB - The excitement continues to build around Blacks Harbour about hometown hero Matty Walsh taking on a bear at the Fundy Arena Friday night. His brother Joe Walsh from Toronto landed in Blacks last night with the bear in tow.

"He's a little sleepy right now, he couldn't stretch out much in the back seat but I just gave him a bucket of coffee and he's good to go. We're going to get him a bottle of Jack Daniels after supper tonight and a couple locals said they have a couple fatties for him to puff on before the match too. I do not want any rackets with him and my little brother. I want Matty to have a chance at least. The bear's name is Vance in case anybody wants to know." said the elder Walsh in an exclusive Hockey Voice interview.

Ganong went skiing with his "Bitch" in the Alps

Ganong: "Just another reason why the Hockey Voice is going down"
Nick Ganong on vacation in the winter of 2009

Ganong threatens legal action against the Hockey Voice

Ganong: Photo was "doctored"

Nick Ganong in an obvious altered state

St. Stephen, NB - Nick Ganong is fuming this morning and for good reason according to the controversial star of the St. George XXX. When word broke that a picture of him in an altered state was being run in the Hockey Voice, he snapped.

"Taylor and the rest of them idiots take pictures of people, doctor them up and pass them off as real pictures. It sickens me how upstanding citizens like myself come across as people who drink to excess, party all the time and act like idiots. I just got off the phone with Dewey, Soakem and Howe, my lawyers, and we are fighting this nonsense. It has to stop. No further comment; I have to change the bandage on my left big toe." noted Ganong in a Hockey Voice exclusive interview this morning.

Walsh steps up Marketing Campaign for Utopia Estates

Matty Walsh's new sign at Lake Utopia Land Development Site

Utopia, NB - Matty Walsh said he needed something "different" to set his venture apart from the rest.

"Lots of people sell waterfront properties but I wanted to be the first and only guy who had nude sunbathers eating waffles. So far, the public has responded favourably to my pitch," noted a very satisfied Walsh.

Hoffman says "Negotiations are in the toilet with these guys"

Chris Hoffman (on flush) with Matty Walsh (C) amd Jamie Harris (Near)

Blacks Harbour, NB - Kingfishers star Chris Hoffman says he's hardly had "a minute of peace this summer" dealing with Matty Walsh and Jamie Harris about playing this season.

"I mean, if I got to have a crap, they are in there asking a bunch of questions. I told them I'd let them know by moose season what I was doing. If that's not good enough, I'm thinking the Ratz have a 3rd line or 7th D man position open and I could fill in at some point. Taylor told me that already and I haven't known him to string anybody along," noted Hoffman.

Ratz captain Joe Stevens replied to Hoffman's comments by saying, "We'll check the barrel to see how much she's been scraped before we go adding junk like that. This guy has some problems. Somebody was saying he used to have a midget girlfriend and he was nuts over her. I don't think much has changed when you hear foolish talk like that."