Make sure you buy your booze first before buying any gifts. The last thing you want to do is to run out of booze money. You can always downsize somebody's gift if necessary.
Need a little dough for New Year's? Why not throw a party around Christmas to get enough beer bottles to go out on New Year's?
Running a little short on booze? Why not get up and tell somebody to leave immediately? It's your place, you don't have to give an explanation. Make sure they don't get their hands on their booze when they leave (very important).
Get a photocopy of a $100 bill and put it in an envelope. Tell the person you couldn't get to the bank to get a real one. You're gonna get one as soon as the bank opens up again (yah right!) Make sure you give this to somebody who's really plastered.
If you're in a big line up, put your hands over your mouth and holler that you're gonna be sick. People will clear out like crazy and you can move to the front of the line. Tell everybody you're headed right to the hospital as soon as you get waited on.
Don't buy anybody a gift is another option. Wait and see what you get. For every gift you get, tell the giver that you ordered theirs a long time ago and it ain't come in yet. This will give you some time to take inventory after Christmas and possibly re-gift some bad shit you got and if necessary, go and buy some cheap stuff after Christmas. Example: You get a Wii gaming system from somebody. Give them a $20 Tim Card and that you're waiting on the rest of their gift to come in. In the meantime, you get some long underwear and pair of slippers as well. Wrap up the underwear and slippers in different paper after Christmas and give them to the person who gave you the Wii. Here's your line: "I know this doesn't look like very much compared to the Wii, but the slippers retail for $500 in any store." Make sure you don't leave any skid marks on the undies. (very important)
Santa Cunny
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