The Hockey Voice : Smith threatens legal action and physical harm over rookie card

Friday, April 30, 2010

Smith threatens legal action and physical harm over rookie card

Authentic mint condition Shane Smith Ratz rookie card

Moose Nuts, AB - Shane Smith has stated he will seek legal action to get back his Ratz rookie card and will even have physical pressure applied to get it. Smith was reacting to news about his card being the property of the Hockey Voice and that the Director of Photography Matty Walsh has refused to release it. "I know one thing, somebody's getting a smuck in the hid or a boot in the guts. I'm calling Dana and Lanny back home and they'll get it back or somebody will have a sore face. That thing's worth some money, man," noted a very distraught Smith in a telephone interview late Thursday.

Meanwhile Hockey Voice photo guy Matty Walsh was visibly amused by the events. Walsh said, "Yeah, I could probably get a few sheets of used shit paper for that card. Taylor said he was offered an Anne Murray cassette tape for it, so we'll just see. As far as any Bayer coming to see me to cause problems - I have 3 words for that - FAB YOU LUS!"

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1. You wear jogging pants and you have never gone and have no intention of going jogging.

2. You have barbecued baloney.

3. Your marriage proposal includes “You’re gonna have a what?”

4. You have picked up some beer on the way to work.

5. You have pictures of yourself beside giant weed plants.

6. Your wedding picture has a stick of tips in the background.

7. Your first words when you come out of a coma are, “Did I miss hunting season?”

8. You have ever used your kids swing set to pull the engine out of your vehicle.

9. The centerpiece on your lawn used to get 30 miles to the gallon.

10. You can’t find your lawnmower.

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13. You have ever said, “Want a hit off that thing, Mom?”

14. You buy beer to expand your summer wardrobe with hats and shirts.

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28. You check the Court News to see if any of your hockey, softball, darts, or crib teammates is going for a “trip.”

29. You have put an ad in the paper telling people to return shit that you have had stolen from you.

30. You use an abandoned or broken down in your yard car as lawn furniture.

31. You have ever paid a bill with beer and/or weed.

32. You have ever said “I got one of them home,” if somebody asks you it you want a bag.

33. You have ever told somebody they had “nice looking pigs and/or nice looking firewood.”

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55. You’ve ever sang at a pet’s funeral.

56. If “playing caps with friends” is mentioned in your obituary.

57. If you’ve ever put .22 shells in a woodstove to liven things up at a camp.

58. If you've ever put in your Moneysaver or Courier ad "Good for a camp."

The Hockey Voice

Friday, April 30, 2010

Smith threatens legal action and physical harm over rookie card

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